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flickering-chandelier · 7 months ago

Text

I Love You, It's Ruining My Life

Pairing: Azriel x Bestfriend! Reader

Summary: Azriel and Reader have been best friends for years, and slowly Reader starts to fall for him. He eventually feels the same way, but after Reader overhears a conversation she wasn’t meant to, she has doubts about him.

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, a little swearing

Work Count: 5.2k

You twisted around in front of the mirror, trying to look at the dress from every angle. “What do you think, Az?”

Your friend looked at you, his eyes trailing down your body, and wrinkled his nose. “No.”

“Really?” You faced the mirror again, cocking your head. “I think it’s pretty.”

“It cinches weirdly around your middle,” he said.

You studied yourself in the mirror again, realizing he was right. “Wow. See, this is why I bring you along. Who knew your spymaster focus would be so helpful for fashion.”

He laughed, throwing his head back against the couch he was sitting on, and you couldn’t help but smile. You always felt a twinge of pride whenever you could make the stoic shadowsinger laugh like that.

“So this one, then?” You asked, gesturing to the first dress you had tried on earlier.

“That is the one,” he shot you a lopsided smile. “The poor fool won’t know what hit him.”

Later, you plopped down into the chair next to Azriel’s in the sitting room at the House, groaning.

Azriel arched a brow in question.

“You were right,” you sighed. “He was a fool.”

Az poured you some of the amber liquid he was drinking, handing the glass to you. “What kind of fool? Do I need to defend your honor?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

Laughing dryly, you said. “No, nothing like that. Just a lame date. I can’t believe I bought a new dress for that guy.”

He smiled sadly at you. “Hey, the right guy will go crazy for that dress.”

You winced, taking a sip of the drink. “I guess,” you grumbled.

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms. “You know I won’t let you be all grumbly by yourself.”

Smiling faintly, you rose from your seat and settled in his lap, resting your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapping comfortingly around you.

“When’s it gonna happen for us, Az? When do we get to find what Rhys and Feyre have?” You asked, quietly.

He sighed, leaning his cheek into the top of your head. “I don’t know. But at least you and I are alone together.”

You laughed, and he tightened his arms around you slightly, clearly pleased. You felt your sad heart mending slightly as your best friend in the world held you long into the night.

---

A few days later, you sighed, pushing your food around your plate at lunch in Velaris with Azriel.

Azriel watched you, those hazel eyes calculating. “You’re not still moping about that date, are you?”

“I’m not moping,” you scolded him. “And no, of course it’s not about the date. He is not worthy of my sighs.”

The side of his mouth curved into a smile. “So, what is it then?”

Shrugging noncommittally, you said, “Honestly, I don’t know. I just feel…bummed.”

That smile of his dropped, his mouth thinning into a line. “Are you done eating?”

You blinked, confused. “Yeah, I think so.”

He tossed money onto the table, nodding his head to the side, indicating it was time to go. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” You asked, rising to follow him.

“You’ll see,” he said, slinging his arm around your shoulders as you walked.

It took several minutes before you knew what he was planning and you grinned up at him as you realized where he was leading you.

He smiled, kissing the top of your head as you neared your favorite ice cream shop.

Your heart swelled as Azriel ordered your favorite ice cream. You should have known. Your parents had always taken you here when you needed a pick-me-up, and Azriel had continued the tradition, knowing it always made you feel better, at least for a little bit.

Gazing up at the man who knew you so very well, your heart began to crack.

---

Azriel wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you settled on the couch beside him, tucking you against his side as his whole family roamed around the River House.

It had been Feyre’s idea to get everyone together for an evening, just to spend time in each other’s company.

“How are you?” he said, eyes boring into yours. He had been extra watchful of you lately, since your mood had dimmed weeks ago. He couldn’t understand why this dark cloud had been following you around lately. It broke his heart that he couldn’t fix it.

“Good,” you murmured, smiling faintly at him.

His brow furrowed, but before he could question you further, Cassian plopped down on the other side of you, grinning.

Cassian pulled your attention then, telling an animated story about how training had been going in the Illyrian mountains.

Azriel wasn’t really listening, still studying you. You laughed at something that Cassian had said, the sound bright, bouncing off the walls, your smile lighting up your face. The tightness in Azriel’s chest eased a bit.

Feyre and Elain beckoned you into the kitchen then, and you followed, leaving Azriel and Cassian alone in the sitting room for the moment.

Cassian nodded after you, shooting Azriel a knowing look. “What’s the deal with her?”

“I don’t know,” Azriel said, sighing. “She’s been… off lately.”

Cassian looked contemplative. “Have you ever thought about… you know…” he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“What, being with her? Romantically?” Azriel furrowed his brow.

“Yeah. I mean, you guys are cuddly enough.”

“Not like that, though,” Azriel said. “No, it’s never been like that between us.”

Cassian shrugged. “Okay. But, you never thought that you might be missing out?”

Azriel thought about it for a moment, what it would be like. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about her like that.”

“Maybe you should.”

Before Azriel could respond, Nesta stalked into the room, taking Cassian’s attention completely.

---

It had been months since you had come home from that terrible date, since Azriel had held you that night, since your mind and your heart began to wonder.

Azriel had always been your friend. Though he was beautiful and amazing, you had never before thought about being anything other than his friend. Nothing between you had really changed at all in the last few months, and yet…

It was Azriel’s face in your mind as you fell asleep. It was Azriel’s touches that you dreamed of, over and over again. It was Azriel, who knew you so well, who was always, always there for you, that occupied your mind day in and day out.

You knew he had sensed a shift in you. But you didn’t think he understood what that shift was. That you had, without even really realizing it, fallen in love with him.

Cauldron, you were doomed.

“Where did you just go?” Feyre said, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Nowhere,” you lied.

She narrowed her eyes at you, bouncing Nyx in her lap.

“Okay, I actually really need to talk to somebody about this. But if I tell you, you can’t tell anybody, not even Rhys.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded in agreement.

“I kinda have feelings for Azriel.”

Feyre bit her lip, trying to hide her surprise. “Since when?”

You shrugged. “It happened slowly. Little things started sticking out to me all of a sudden and now… Now I can’t stop thinking about him. And I don’t know what to do.”

“You could tell him how you feel,” Feyre offered, smiling softly.

You groaned. “But I don’t think he sees me that way. If I tell him, it could ruin our whole friendship.”

Feyre tilted her head, contemplating. “You think so? Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, he’s Az. I can’t imagine that he would ever abandon someone he loves for any reason.”

“I guess,” you said distantly. “But it would make things really awkward, at the very least.”

Feyre smiled. “Or, it could turn into something amazing.”

You scoffed. “With our luck in love? Unlikely.”

“Maybe nothing has worked out for you two so far because you’re supposed to be together.”

Your heart swelled at the thought, but you stomped down the hope. “Maybe,” you said, your mind wandering again. “Maybe.”

---

Your blood rushed in your ears, your body tense as you and Azriel sat together in the sitting room of the House the next evening. It physically hurt to be near him these days. Your body ached to be close to his.

“What’s up with you?” Azriel asked.

“Nothing, I just…” you trailed off, looking across the room at him, willing yourself to tell the truth. “I love you, Az.”

He smiled. “I love you, too.”

He didn’t get it. He didn’t bat an eye at you, at his friend he had loved platonically for so long. Your heart sank.

It hurt to look at him now. You knew it couldn't be the same between you, not now that you had foolishly fallen for him.

You took a sip of your drink, wishing it was stronger, and forced yourself through easy conversation with your best friend.

---

“What’s wrong?” you asked him immediately upon seeing him weeks later, and Azriel couldn’t help but smile. You had always been able to sense the shift in his mood, even if things had felt… different between the two of you lately.

He sighed. “We’re unlucky in love, you and I.”

You stiffened, and he wondered if he had said something wrong, but continued. “You know, the whole Mor, Elain…thing. I’ve just been thinking about what you said that night ages ago. I just wonder when it’ll happen for us.”

Azriel’s eyes flicked to you, and you gulped, tense in a way he’d never seen when it was just the two of you. “What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you said, too quickly. “I’m sorry. That you’re feeling unlucky in love.”

He lifted a brow. “Are you okay?”

You nodded then stood up quickly, walking toward the door. Azriel stood, wrapping his fingers around your wrist, pulling gently so you would turn back to face him. “Hey. Talk to me,” he said softly.

Your eyes swam with emotion, and you seemed to be pondering what to say. “I can’t talk to you about this,” you said quietly, your voice breaking.

“What do you mean?” Azriel tried to push down the hurt he felt. “We talk about everything.”

“Not this, Az,” you said sadly, before gently pulling your hand out of his grasp and disappearing down the hallway.

What the hell.

Azriel spent nearly an hour contemplating what had just happened. Were you upset with him? Or were you just keeping something from him? If you were, why?

He ran over the last several weeks in his mind, all of his interactions with you. You had definitely been acting differently around him, sitting further away from him, not spending as much time with him one-on-one, but he assumed you would talk to him when you were ready. Evidently, you still were not ready. But, what could it possibly be that you couldn’t talk to him about it?

It was his relationships, well his lack of relationship with Mor and Elain that seemed to set this off.

And then he remembered what Cassian had said weeks ago, that maybe he should consider you as a romantic partner. His brother was always smarter than most people gave him credit for. Did Cassian know something? Was he trying to tell Azriel?

His head spun. Did you have feelings for him?

It would actually explain a lot of your behavior for the past few weeks, especially if you thought that he didn’t feel the same way.

Did he feel the same way?

He sat back in his chair. Why hadn’t he ever considered you before? You were beautiful, of course, and one of the very best people he had ever known. And you were his best friend, who knew him better than he knew himself, in many ways. Who he could talk to about anything. Who already loved him so much.

Maybe he should be with you.

He did love you, of course. So… maybe the two of you should give it a shot.

Before he could think it through, he went to your room, knocking gently. He had to know if he was right.

You answered the door in a thin night dress, your hair cascading down your shoulders. Gods, you were beautiful. What an idiot he'd been.

“Az?” You asked.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his. He gauged your reaction, waiting for you to tense, but you didn't. You melted into him, placing your hand on his chest and gazing up at him with big, beautiful eyes.

Slowly, so slowly, he leaned down, and you tilted your face up to meet him, longing written all over your face. His heart rate spiked as his lips finally met yours.

The kiss was slow, sweet, exploratory. A new dance between old friends.

You moaned slightly, twining your fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to you.

He growled, pushing you back further into your bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot.

You had a long night ahead of you.

---

It had been about a week since you and Azriel had stepped into a new form of your relationship.

It was funny, actually. Not that much had actually changed, except you were more comfortable around him now, like you had been before the last few weeks had complicated things. The two of you spent so much time together one on one before, the only difference now was all the kissing and the bedroom activities. And how many times you would tell him that you loved him, your eyes shining with that love.

He was starting to feel like he hadn't thought it all the way through. He loved you. Of course he did. But, he was worried that your love for him was deeper. And he couldn't bear the thought of hurting you.

“Where'd your mind go, Az?” Cassian asked, and Rhysand chuckled.

“He's thinking about his new girlfriend,” Rhys grinned.

Azriel’s jaw tightened. “I'm worried,” he admitted.

“About?” Cassian asked, leaning forward, his full attention on Azriel.

“I think her feelings are deeper than mine. I'm starting to worry that I may have…” he trailed off, not wanting to admit it.

“Settled?” Rhys offered.

Azriel winced, but nodded. “Maybe.”

“What, you don't love her?” Cassian asked.

“I do. Of course I love her.”

“Well, there you go,” Cassian said, waving a hand dismissively. “I think you're overthinking this.”

“Maybe just give it time,” Rhysand said contemplatively. “You know how she is. She feels things very deeply. You might catch up to her faster than you think.”

“Maybe. I hope so,” Azriel said, his mind wandering away again, back to you. Back to the love that shone in your eyes when you looked at him.

He would have to be careful. He would not break your heart. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

---

Years later, snuggled up to Azriel, watching children screaming and running around the River House the night before Winter Solstice, you couldn’t imagine being happier.

Azriel and you had been talking about trying for children soon. Your heart swelled as you watched Cassian’s and Rhysand’s children grow up together, picturing your own children growing up in all this love, with cousins and aunts and uncles who would love them so much.

You smiled and Azriel kissed your temple. “I know exactly what you’re thinking,” he murmured into your skin.

“You do not,” you smiled.

“I do,” he said, ducking his head to whisper in your ear. “You wanna try for a baby tonight?” His breath tickled your ear, his voice dipping suggestively.

You laughed, playfully shoving him away, and he grinned. “Tonight? The one night a year we sleep under the same roof as our entire family? Absolutely not.”

He pulled you into his lap, kissing you sweetly. “Tomorrow then?” he whispered.

You rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled with love. “We’ll see,” you teased.

Elain called you into the kitchen then, and you went to join her, shooting a wink at Az over your shoulder as you went. He grinned.

Your family was scattered all over the house, leaving Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel alone in the living room next to the kitchen with some of the children.

You could hear them laughing together as you helped Elain prep some of the food for the following morning.

Your ears perked up when you heard your name and Elain shot you a curious look, clearly eavesdropping along with you.

“Remember when you two first got together?” Rhysand asked, likely to Azriel.

“Yes,” Az chuckled softly. “We’ve come a long way since then.”

“I can’t believe you were ever unsure about her,” Cassian said. “That you were worried you had settled.”

Shock jolted through your entire body, your blood pounding in your ears. You nearly dropped the plate that you were holding.

“I was a fool,” Azriel said, and you could picture him shaking his head slightly. “I can’t imagine life without her. I can’t believe I lasted so long just being her friend.”

“She’s got you wrapped around her little finger,” Rhysand teased.

“Oh, like you’re not the same with Feyre,” Azriel shot back, and all three brothers erupted into laughter.

You looked at Elain finally, her expression solemn, like she could see right through to your soul, how broken you felt.

Without a word, you left the kitchen, going up to the guest room that you and Azriel occupied when you stayed with Feyre and Rhysand.

Azriel had settled for you. He was sad that night that he first kissed you, sad about not getting a shot with Mor or Elain, so he had gone to the one person he knew would never deny him.

All this time, all these years, he had just been settling with you because he didn’t want to be alone. You felt sick.

You had fallen in love with him, and to him you were just there. Ready for the taking. That’s why he chose you.

Your stomach lurched, and you scrambled to the bathroom, spilling your guts, hot tears streaming down your face, sobs shaking your whole body.

---

Azriel frowned sometime later, wondering why you hadn’t come back yet. He wandered away from his brothers, finding Elain alone in the kitchen. She frowned at him as he entered, looking angrier than he had ever seen her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Why don’t you go ask your wife?”

He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? Where is she?”

“She went upstairs a while ago,” Elain said curtly, turning back to her pastries.

Azriel’s heart pounded. What had happened to make Elain angry at him? Why had you gone upstairs without saying goodnight to anyone?

He rushed up to the room, confused when he didn’t see you anywhere, until he heard you sniffling in the washroom. His heart lurched, panic setting in as he swung the door open, finding you lying on the floor, hugging your legs to your chest, facing away from him.

He whispered your name, his anxiety increasing. When you didn’t answer, he sat down next to you, rubbing your back soothingly, gently setting your head into his lap. He saw your tear stained cheeks, your red eyes, and the breath was sucked right out of his lungs.

“What happened, love? What is it?” he asked, trying to sound calm.

You refused to look at him, staring ahead blankly.

He had never seen you like this. “Honey, you’re scaring me, please tell me what’s wrong,” he said, his voice breaking.

Finally, you sat up and walked back into the bedroom, still not looking at him. As you did, you mumbled, “you settled.”

“What?” he asked, following you into the bedroom.

You slid under the covers, facing away from him. “You settled with me. You didn’t want to be alone, so you kissed me that night. And you settled with me.”

“I didn’t,” he said, quietly. “I did not settle. I love you. So much.”

You buried yourself further into the covers, hiding yourself from him. His heart ached. “All this time,” you whispered. “All this time. You must have been just waiting for Mor or Elain to change their minds, huh?”

“No,” he said, his voice coming out quiet and crackly. He rounded the bed, willing you to look at him. He settled on his knees, looking into your eyes, cupping your cheek with a scarred hand. “No. It was never like that. It was never about them. I love you, I always have,” he said, willing you to believe him, to feel that he meant it.

A tear slid down your cheek. His heart broke further as he wiped it away gently with his thumb. “That’s not what Cassian said,” you whispered.

Azriel sighed, his eyes pleading. “I was worried. When we first started dating, I was worried that your feelings were deeper than mine. You always feel things so deeply, my love, and that’s one of the things that I love the most about you. I was scared that I wasn’t at the same level that you were, and you would get hurt because of it.”

“Looks like I have,” you whispered.

“But it’s not like that now, it hasn’t been like that for years. I’ve known for so long that you are the only person in the world that I could ever want. Please,” Azriel whispered. “Please believe that I am so in love with you. It was one stupid conversation ages ago, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you, but you have to believe me. You are the love of my life.”

“I don’t know how to believe you right now,” you said quietly, your voice breaking.

Azriel’s heart broke completely. Your face was completely blank in a way he had never seen before. “What can I do?”

“I don’t know, Az. I need -- I need space.”

He gulped, but nodded, rising to his feet slowly “Okay. I’ll be downstairs, if you need me.”

You didn’t respond. He willed his legs to move, to leave you behind, broken, in the bed you were supposed to share.

Cassian and Rhys were the only people left downstairs by the time he made it back down, drinking and laughing together.

One look at their brother’s face, and they went silent.

“I fucked up,” Azriel said, taking the glass from Cassian’s hand and shooting the amber liquid back in one gulp.

Cassian handed Azriel the whole bottle, who would have laughed, if he hadn’t ripped his own heart to shreds that night.

He took a swig before saying quietly, “she heard our conversation. She thinks I settled with her.”

“Shit,” Cassian said, his face falling.

“What did you tell her?” Rhys asked, his expression solemn too.

“The truth. I was worried that in the beginning that she loved me more than I loved her, but now… Gods, I’m so in love with her. But she said she can’t trust me anymore,” he said, a tear running down his cheek before he quickly wiped it away.

His brothers were silent for a moment, thinking.

After a moment, Cassian said, “Yeah, I don’t know how you fix this, Az.”

Azriel laughed humorlessly, taking another sip from the bottle. “Thanks.”

“She might just need some time,” Rhysand said.

“You didn’t see her,” Azriel said, his voice breaking again. “She was…” he trailed off and shook his head. “I’ve never seen her like that. She’s wrecked. Because of me.”

His brothers stayed up with him for a long time, trying to console him, but he eventually sent them away to their happy mates who still loved them.

He laid on the couch, his wings drooping on the floor, his heart hurting. He hadn’t spent a night away from you since you had gotten together unless he was on a mission. This felt fundamentally wrong.

Eventually, he got up, wandering through the quiet house. He made his way into the study, digging out some paper. He had to fix this. He needed you to understand.

---

You’d barely slept at all, and winced when the sun started lightly filtering into the room that shouldn’t be so empty.

You didn’t know how to feel, what to think. You knew Azriel loved you. But was it enough? Was it the same, all-consuming love that you felt for him?

How could you ever be sure?

After just one night, you missed the heat of his body against yours, hated rolling over to see the other side of the bed empty.

Cauldron, you had been talking about children less than 12 hours ago, and now…

You shoved the thought away, your eyes still burning from crying all night. You refused to start up again.

What a Winter Solstice this would turn out to be. Maybe you should just go home.

Alone, in the apartment that you had turned into a home with Azriel. Your bottom lip trembled, and you bit it, hard. You were strong, you would survive this.

Whatever this ended up being.

Your mind was still spinning and you hadn’t yet gotten out of bed when there was a tentative knock on your door.

“What?” you said, quietly, your voice not sounding like your own.

Azriel opened the door slowly, studying you as he lingered in the doorway. He looked awful, bags under his eyes, his clothes rumpled, his hair a mess, like he had run his hand through it over and over again.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hi,” you replied timidly.

His face fell and you knew why. You had never sounded like that, not with him.

He took a cautious step into the room, watching you closely. “I made something. For when you're ready,” he said, placing a stack of papers on the bedside table.

You remained silent, not sure what to say. He swallowed, and turned to leave, but he stopped in the doorway, turning back to you. “I do love you. So much.”

His expression was pained, and you could tell he wanted to say more, but he just looked at you sadly before disappearing behind the door he closed behind him.

It wasn’t until after you took a long bath that you had the courage to look at the papers he had left for you. You sat on the bed, pulling them into your lap, surprised at how many pages there were.

On the top, in Azriel’s handwriting it said, “To My Dearest Love.”

Despite everything, you couldn’t stop the swell in your chest, the love that you felt for him.

You were shocked as you read through page after page. He had written your story, the story of your love from his perspective, every date you had gone on, every Winter Solstice, every milestone. He detailed his thoughts as he went through each of those moments, all the things he loved about you, when he noticed new little things about you, even after being friends for so long.

Tears were streaming down your face by the time you got to the end, where it read:

You, my love, are everything. Everything. If you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.

I’m sorry that I was a fool. I’ll always be sorry that I hurt you.

Whatever you decide, whatever you want going forward, I just hope that you’ll know how deeply I love you.

---

Azriel had gone to the annual snowball fight with his brothers, only for a distraction. But his heart wasn’t in it, and after about ten minutes, his brothers had deemed his snowball game so pathetic that they called it off and all went inside to the cabin to drink.

He knew he was being tragic company, so Azriel went back to the River House on his own, prepared to find a quiet corner to sulk in by himself. He hoped you had read what he stayed up all night writing, at least. Even if it didn’t change anything…

He didn’t let himself dwell on what could happen. He didn’t know what he would do if you left him.

He nearly fell over when he noticed that you were sitting in the living room that he had used his shadows to winnow into.

You looked surprised too, but not unhappy. Relief flooded through him.

“Hi,” you said, quietly.

“Hi,” he said, his voice raspy.

You stood up, walking toward him slowly, stopping a few steps from him. He longed to hold you, to make it all better, but he stayed where he was.

“I read it,” you whispered.

He could only nod, his heart in his throat.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and his heart shattered, terror flooding through him before you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.

He hugged you back instantly, holding you to him with crushing force.

“I don’t want to be mad at you anymore,” you said into his chest. “I love you.”

Azriel felt like he was going to fall over, the only thing that was keeping him standing was you. “I love you,” he said, letting the tears fall freely down his cheeks, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I love you, I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. I get it now. What you wrote -- it helped me understand. And it was beautiful.”

“I’m still sorry I hurt you,” he said, his voice cracking.

You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him gently. “It’s okay, Az. I’m okay.”

Azriel took your face in his hands gently, kissing you like his life depended on it. He felt like it did.

You let him kiss you for ages, until the two of you realized that you were no longer alone. Azriel looked up to see that his brothers had winnowed in and were now staring at the two of you.

“Oh, thank the Mother,” Cassian said, bracing his hands on his knees dramatically before coming up and hugging you, lifting you into the air, while Rhys laughed behind him. “You guys really had me worried.”

“I take it you worked it all out?” Rhysand asked, kissing your cheek after Cassian set you back on the ground.

“Yeah, we’re okay now,” you said, laughing at them.

Rhysand and Cassian did look extremely relieved, which made Azriel’s heart swell. He would always be thankful for his brothers.

---

After a surprisingly successful Winter Solstice, you and Azriel made your way back home, now cuddling together in your bed, holding each other tightly.

Azriel kissed the top of your head. “I’ll always be so thankful for you. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

You snuggled closer into him. “We’re both lucky.”

Azriel laughed. “Speaking of getting lucky… you want to try for that baby now?”

You gawked at him, incredulously. “What, too soon?” he asked, smirking.

“Males are ridiculous,” you scolded him.

After a beat, Azriel risked it. “I didn’t hear a no…”

You laughed, pulling him into a kiss. “You’re so stupid.”

Azriel grinned. “Oh, I know.”

@thalia-as-blog @saltedcoffeescotch @batboyrhyrhy @1-s1mp-t00-much

#acotar fic #acotar one shot #acotar x reader #acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel one shot #azriel x you #azriel fluff #azriel angst #acotar angst #acotar fluff #acotar imagine #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #request

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xmalfoyweasleyx · 3 months ago

Text

The new bakery - Azriel x reader

Summary: Y/N gets a little jealous when she meets Azriel’s ex-lover, someone she didn’t expect (because I wanted to write jealous Az but then I thought, why not reader?)

Warnings: jealousy and angst but mostly fluff, mentions of sex

“Ready?” you said excitedly while pulling your shoes on, glancing behind you to look at your mate.

“Ready” Azriel said softly, that subtle but sweet smile on his face.

You opened the door when you felt his scarred hands grabbing your waist, pulling your back against his chest. He nuzzled his face in your neck, leaving butterfly kisses on the warm skin. “Az, stop, we need to go", you giggled.

“We don’t need to do anything”, he mumbled into your neck.

“Yes, we do, I want to see that new bakery. Mor said they have the best cupcakes, and I want to be there before it gets too busy”

“Okay okay, let’s go then” Az sighed with a smile, grabbing your hand in his. You walked in comfortable silence through the streets of Velaris. It was beautiful this time of the year. The streets were busy and people laughed everywhere around you.

You looked up at Az to see he was already smiling at you. “What?” you asked. “Nothing, you just look very pretty today”, he said while putting your hand on his cheek and lips and kissing your palm softly. Your heart skipped a beat, the male still made you blush after all those years.

“Oh.. Thanks Azzie” you sighed flustered.

He smiled back at you from behind your hand, a blush on his cheeks too. You loved it when he gave you that shy and flustered smile. You were the only person who could make him do that.

“You can be such a cheesy flirt sometimes, you know that?” you joked, trying to distract yourself from the heavy feelings in your chest.

Az wanted to argue but shut his mouth when you squeaked. “There it is!!” you pointed at the bakery behind him.

You were were welcomed by the sweet smell of cakes and pastries when you walked in. The bakery was as pretty on the inside as it was on the outside. “Wow look at this Az, isn’t it wonderful?”

Azriel only nodded with an amused grin on his face. This was his way of communicating with you, silent, but still more expressive than he’d like to be. You love that about him, the way he reveals more to you than to others.

Behind the counter stood a young High Fae female, she had long dark blond hair and the most beautiful smile you've ever seen. She must be the owner.

“Welcome!” she greeted politely.

“Hello!” you smiled back.

Azriel turned around and you immediately saw his eyes widen when he made eye contact with the girl behind the counter. “Clara” he sighed in shock.

“Oh my god, Azriel! How are you?” she smiled.

“Good! Er.. this is.. this is Y/N, she’s my mate” Azriel smiled proudly.

The girl, Clara apparently, smiled at you. “Oh waw! I’m Clara, I own this bakery, it’s so nice to meet you.”

“The bakery is amazing. Now I’m so curious, how do you two know each other?” you asked, trying to remember a moment when Azriel mentioned a girl named Clara. If they were friends he would’ve mentioned her, right?

“Oh, we dated for a while a few years ago, it didn’t last that long.” She said nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Dated?” you gaped.

“Well, dated is a big word, we were lovers for a while, but it wasn’t more than just sex and two dates or something. Besides, I’m married now!” she beamed, showing her ring.

You watched Az, hoping he would tell you it was just some kind of prank. But he just stood there, grinning at her, obviously happy to see her again.

And gods… she was beautiful. And kind. And had a bakery. Shit.

You were speechless. This was the last thing you expected to happen today. Of course Az had lovers, you knew that, but still...

“Oh.. that’s, that’s nice..” you tried.

“Az..” you subtly tugged on his sleeve “I think we can go home now, right?”

Azriel frowned at you. “But don’t you want to try the cupcakes?” he asked worriedly.

“Maybe another time, I’m still pretty full from our lunch”, you hoped you were convincing enough, he was a spymaster after all.

He thankfully noticed the pleading look you gave him. “Don’t worry, baby, we’ll come back another time then.”

You tried to hide your sigh of relieve and walked out as fast as you could. “See you next time, Clara.” You heard him say behind you.

When you walked back home you still didn’t know what to say. “Are you okay, honey?” Az asked. You only nodded.

You wouldn’t consider yourself a jealous person but… You were jealous. Az tried to reach for your hand again, just like he did when you walked to the bakery. But you quickly placed your hand in your pocket before he could reach you.

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The speechlessness quickly turned into annoyance and even anger. You knew Azriel did nothing wrong but you couldn’t help yourself. The way he smiled at her? Did he even notice the way it looked? You caught imagining the two of them together, going on a date, sleeping together.

You tried to distract yourself for the rest of the day. You read a book and cooked a nice dinner. When Azriel joined you for said dinner, you both ate in silence.

It was already late when you were in bed, reading a book, almost ready to go to sleep. Az joined you a moment later. He was still frowning at you when he undressed himself and brushed his teeth.

“Did I do something wrong?” he finally asked.

“No.”

“Then why are you mad at me?” he questioned.

“Not mad” you said while aggressively laying your book on the nightstand and pulling the covers over you.

“Then why did you just throw your book away?”

“I didn’t throw my book away, Azriel, I’m just going to sleep now”

He didn’t respond for a while, deciding to let it go. That was until he turned off the lights and took his place next to you on the bed, wrapping his arm around you and pulling your back against his chest. He wrapped his wing around you protectively and nestled his face into you neck. He always did this, so it was quite a shock for him when he felt you tensing against him.

“Okay that’s enough” he groaned and turned the lights on again. “Tell me what’s wrong y/n.”

“You should know what’s wrong. It’s your exes that are all around Velaris.” you didn’t turn around to face him. Okay, maybe you exaggerated a bit, but you couldn't get the look on your mates face when he saw her out of your head.

“Are you jealous?” he asked almost shocked.

“Of course I am!” you sighed while finally turning around to face him. He looked worried and amused at the same time. But the amusement faded when he saw how distressed you were.

“Y/N, she said she’s married, and besides, we are mated for years. You know I love no one else but you” he whispered reassuringly.

“Well… what if that isn’t enough?”

Azriel gently grabbed your face in between his familiar scarred hand, stroking your cheeks in that comforting way he always does. “You know I’ve had lovers Y/N, I’m a 500 years old, I wish i met you when I was young but sadly that didn’t happen.”

“It’s just… in my mind your lovers were just girls you met in clubs. I imagine them dancing there and drinking and you seducing them for only one night…But she? She has a godsdamn bakery! And she seems so kind, that’s relationship material!” you rambled

Azriel was silent for a moment and started placing dozens of kisses all over your cheeks, then forehead and eventually your lips too. You couldn't help but giggle "Az, stop distracting me with kisses, you bastard, I'm having a breakdown here, remember?", you giggled.

He pressed one last kiss on your lips when he looked at you again, “Well, it didn’t work out with her for a reason. And maybe that reason is you. Because somewhere deep down I knew. I knew there was someone out there, someone special. And I’m so lucky I found you, baby. You know that, right?” His hands were in your hair, stroking lovingly. “I love you” he sighed, kissing your neck now. You leaned into his touch, “I love you too.”

You lay there in silence for a while, his face in your neck and hands in your hair, your arms and legs wrapped around him.

“Was the sex good?” you suddenly slipped out.

Azriel laughed, “it didn’t come close to what we have, baby”

“Yeah?” you smirked. “Yeah.”

“Should I show you how much better it is?” he grinned. You slowly crawled into his lap. “Should I show you?” you countered. “Yes please” he smirked.

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#acotar #azriel #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel fluff

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charlieleclerc16 · 6 months ago

Text

Lost and Found*

Summary: Charles and Y/N have been best friends since they were little kids but they lost track of each other over time. When Charles is in town for his home race they finally reunite and their meeting is sweeter than ever.

Pairing: Bestie!Charles x You

Word count: 4.4K

Warnings: Smut, fluff, cute. There might be some unprotected action in there, I'm sorry.

It's been a very long time since you last saw your best friend. It has been years, which is a shame, but there were reasons. The biggest reason was that he was travelling all over the world for the World Drivers' Championship, and that caused his schedule to be incredibly full. There is also the fact that, because he is rarely home to begin with, you don’t get many chances to see him.

Charles always tries to keep in touch, even with the crazy life he leads. But that might mean only brief texts and the occasional phone call. Sometimes not even those. The last time you heard from him was six months ago when he called to ask how your family was doing. He sounded so tired but excited. You talked for an hour, and it was almost like the last years hadn't happened.

With the new season starting up and him being back on the road, you decided to contact Pascale and see if she could get you in for the Monaco GP. This is an amazing opportunity for you to finally see your best friend and to surprise him with your presence.

The excitement about race day has been building up inside of you ever since you decided to do this. You know you can't expect much attention from Charles after the race, but you're looking forward to seeing him and getting to see him drive. You haven't seen him in person in two years.

You take a shower and then put on the black top and red high-waisted jeans that you have planned to wear to the grid, gotta support Ferrari. When you get into the kitchen, you realise that you are too nervous and excited to eat, so you settle for a banana. You check the time and are happy to notice that you still have some time left to spare, so you go into the living room and switch on the television.

There are no good shows on, so you switch to the music channels and find one that is showing a rerun of an interview Charles did a couple of years ago. The whole country, how small it may be, always turns into full mayhem when it’s raceweek. You smile as you watch him talk. Even after all these years, it's still the same Charlie. He's still your Charlie. You feel a pang in your heart when he smiles his cheeky grin at the interviewer, and you realise just how much you miss him.

As if reading your mind, your phone vibrates on the coffee table. You reach for it and see Charles' caller ID on the screen. You pick up and bring the phone to your ear.

"Charles?"

"Hi, baby!" He sounds excited. "Did I call at a good time? Are you busy?"

"No, I'm not. I was just watching TV." She decides to not tell him that she is going to see him in a couple of hours.

"Oh, what are you watching?"

"Um, an interview. It's not important. What are you doing? Shouldn't you be getting ready for the race?"

"I have a free half hour, and I'm hiding, so nobody can find me. I really needed to talk to you, and I couldn't wait anymore."

"Why did you need to talk to me? Is something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing like that. You're coming to the track today, aren't you?"

Your eyes grow wide and your stomach somersaults. How did he know? Did his mother give something away?

"How...how did you know?" You finally manage to say.

"I'm not stupid, Y/N. I know how you talk when you're nervous and when you're not. When I talked to you about my home race last week, your voice didn't sound like usual. You sounded nervous, and it was pretty obvious that you were going." He laughs on the phone.

"Wow, I'm not very subtle, am I?" You feel stupid.

"You really aren't." His voice sounds warm and inviting, and you feel a shiver running down your spine.

"So, why did you want to call me, if it wasn't to tell me not to come?"

"Oh, I would never tell you not to come. I really want you to be there today."

"But… Don’t you have a very busy schedule? You probably won't even have time to see me."

"Don't worry, baby. I will definitely see you. If I don't, you should find the backstage area and tell them to let you in. I already told the security team your name. They'll let you in."

"Really? Charles, you're crazy. You have a race to prepare for. You shouldn't let random fans into your private space."

"But you're not a random fan. You're Y/N."

"I'm glad that you still think of me like that, even though we haven't seen each other in a while."

"What do you mean?" Charles sounds confused. "Of course, I still think of you as my best friend. Nothing can change that."

You feel a lump forming in your throat. You don't want to cry, not now. Charles means the world to you, and he will never know. You are not the kind of girl who confesses her love to crushes, not even when they are her best friends.

"Y/N, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. I was just thinking about something."

"Well, stop thinking. We're going to see each other in a couple of hours." He is smiling; you can hear it in his voice.

***

When you enter the city centre, the excitement inside of you is unbearable. The atmosphere is incredible, and the streets are so crowded and so full of life and happiness. Everyone is happy to be here, and so are you.

You find your way to the Paddock Club, which thankfully Pascale got you an access pass to because you would’ve never been able to afford this. As you wait for the race to start, you keep looking around trying to find familiar faces and wondering what Charles is doing right now.

The sun was shining brilliantly over Monte Carlo, its rays dancing off the azure waters of the Mediterranean as one of the most anticipated events of the year, the Monaco Grand Prix, is about to begin. Your heart is racing almost as fast as the cars that would soon tear through the narrow, winding streets.

Charles was starting from P1. Your Charles, the pride of Monaco. His Ferrari sat poised and ready, a crimson beast waiting to be unleashed. As you watch the big screen showing the last preparations for the race, you can’t help but feel a swell of emotion. You are already so proud of him.

Soon the camera pans over the cars lined up at the starting line showing the drivers walking to their vehicles. He climbs into the car, and the mechanics begin their final checks. The roar of the engines filled the air, a symphony of power and precision. The grid is set, and the lights above the starting line begin their countdown.

Red. Red. Red. Green.

The cars surge forward, a blur of colour and sound. Charles holds his position, deftly navigating the treacherous streets with the skill and grace of a dancer. Every corner, every straight, he is in perfect harmony with his car.

From the paddock, you watch every moment with bated breath. Your fingers are crossed, your heart lodged in your throat. Lap after lap, he maintains his lead, his driving a masterclass of control and speed. The crowds roar, the tension palpable as the race unfolds.

As the laps dwindle down, you find yourself almost unable to watch. He is so close, so close to his biggest dream. The pit stops have gone flawlessly, the strategy executed to perfection. But Monaco was a track where anything can happen, and the slightest mistake can spell disaster.

Then, with a grace that seems almost effortless, Charles navigates the final corner and speeds down the straight towards the finish line. The checkered flag waves and the crowd erupts into a frenzy. He has done it. He won the Monaco Grand Prix.

Tears of joy stream down your face as you watch him cross the finish line, arms raised in triumph. The team explodes into celebration around you, but all you can see is Charles. He climbs out of the car, drenched in sweat and triumph, and your eyes meet across the chaos.

His gaze pierces through you, sending a shiver down your spine. And then, he smiles. That dazzling smile that has captured the hearts of millions. And in that moment, you know that your heart belongs to him, forever.

***

It's been hours since the race ended. After all the interviews, the podium, the celebration, Charles was finally able to get some free time for himself. His eyes are roaming the room, looking for a familiar face, but he can't find you anywhere. Maybe you left without saying goodbye. He feels disappointed. He wanted to see you and to hug you.

The door opens and someone enters the room. Charles doesn't bother to look up. He is too busy feeling sorry for himself. But then your voice is what catches his attention. "Hi, stranger."

He looks up, and there you are, standing in the doorway. He is not dreaming. You are here, in Monaco, and he has just won the race. Life couldn't get any better than this.

"Hi, Y/N." He stands up and walks towards you.

You are speechless. Seeing him winning the race made you so emotional that you had tears in your eyes. Now, standing in front of him, all those feelings come rushing back. "Congratulations on your win. I'm so proud of you." You say as he pulls you in a tight hug. His strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close. You close your eyes and breathe him in, his familiar scent surrounding you.

"Thank you. I'm so happy that you're here." His voice is muffled against your hair.

You pull back slightly, looking up into his warm, brown eyes. There is something in the way he is looking at you that makes your heart race. You have never felt more alive, more connected, than in this moment. You feel as if he can see into your very soul, and the intensity of his gaze takes your breath away.

"Me too." You say softly, your voice barely a whisper. He leans in closer, his lips just a breath away from yours. Your heart is hammering in your chest, and you feel a shiver run down your spine. You close your eyes and allow yourself to fall into the moment.

Just as you're about to kiss him, he pulls back with a chuckle as if he only now realises that you are in a room full of people. You look around and see his family and the Ferrari employees as well as the security guards who are probably watching the two of you like hawks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise..." He begins, his cheeks flushed.

"It's okay." You say, taking a step back and running a hand through your hair. "I didn't realise either."

The room falls silent, and you can't help but wonder if everyone heard your exchange. You feel your face flush, and you turn away, avoiding Charles' gaze.

"We should go somewhere more private." He whispers in your ear, making you blush. You nod and follow him out of the room. The security guards let the two of you pass, and Charles leads you down a quiet hallway. You follow him in silence, your mind racing. You can't believe what just happened.

When you reach a secluded area, Charles turns to face you, a sheepish grin on his face. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable back there."

"You didn't. I just...I was surprised."

"Good surprised or bad surprised?" He looks nervous, and it makes you smile.

"Good surprised. Very good."

"I'm glad." He reaches out and takes your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours as you continue to make your way outside. "I've missed you so much, Y/N."

You smile up at him, feeling your heart swell with emotion. "I've missed you too, Charlie. More than you can imagine."

As you step out into the warm Monaco air, you can't help but think how lucky you are to be here, with him. He is the best friend anyone could ever have, and you feel honoured that he considers you his best friend. You squeeze his hand, and he squeezes yours in return. You know that, whatever happens next, you will always have each other.

Charles brings the two of you to a halt next to where his bicycle is stalled. "I totally forgot I came here by bike." He says, shaking his head. "Do you wanna come with me, or do you prefer to take a taxi?"

"No, no. I'll come with you." You don't want to spend a single minute away from him.

He smiles at you and nods. He climbs on the bike and motions for you to sit on the top tube as his bike doesn't have a rear rack. You hop on the top tube and wrap your arms around his handlebar for balance. "Jesus Christ, this feels dangerous."

"Just trust me." He says, a twinkle in his eye as he closes his arms around you to grab a hold of the handlebars.

"You sure we'll both fit on the bike?" You ask nervously.

"Of course, we'll fit. Come on." He starts pedalling and soon the two of you are zipping through the streets of Monaco, the sun setting in the distance.

You lean against him, feeling the warmth of his body, and you close your eyes. For the first time in years, you feel completely and utterly content. As the two of you ride through the streets of Monaco, his arms basically wrapped around you, you can't help but think that this is what happiness feels like.

"Charlie, where are we going?"

"Home." He says it so casually as if it's obvious that you belong there too.

You stay silent for the rest of the journey. You just want to enjoy the moment, savour the feeling of his body against yours. When you finally arrive at his apartment, the sun has almost disappeared from the horizon, leaving behind a pink and orange sky.

"Here we are." Charles says as he helps you off the bike. You can't help but notice how his hand lingers on yours, the contact sending a shiver down your spine. After a brief loss of contact to lock his bike, his fingers intertwine with yours and he guides you inside the apartment complex.

The elevator ride is silent, but it's not awkward. It's a comfortable silence, the kind you only share with your best friend. When the elevator doors open, Charles leads you down the hallway to his apartment, his hand still holding yours.

When he unlocks the door and ushers you inside, the first thing you notice is how big the apartment is. It's luxurious, just like he is, and you can't help but be a little jealous. He leads you into the kitchen, which is modern and well-equipped. "Make yourself at home. Do you want something to drink?"

"Just some water, please." You say, your mouth suddenly dry. He nods and busies himself at the sink. You take the opportunity to look around, taking in the sleek furniture and artwork adorning the walls.

When Charles returns with the glass of water, he can't help but notice the awe on your face. "What is it?"

"It's just...this place is so fancy. It's amazing."

He smiles, clearly pleased with your reaction. "Well, I'm glad you like it. Maybe I could give you a tour later."

"That would be great." You can't hide the excitement in your voice. You take the glass of water from him and sip it slowly, trying to calm your racing heart.

Charles walks over to the living room and you follow him like a lost puppy. It's when your eyes fall on the black grand piano that you gasp. "Wow, you have a grand piano!"

He turns around, a grin on his face. "Yeah, I love to play the piano. It's a good way to relax after a long day."

"Can you play me something?" You ask, unable to hide your excitement.

"Sure. What do you want me to play?"

"Anything. Surprise me." You say, smiling at him.

He walks over to the piano and sits down on the stool before he pats the empty space beside him. "Come, sit next to me."

You make your way over to him and sit down, feeling a little nervous. He begins to play, his fingers dancing across the keys. The melody is beautiful and melancholic, and it sends a shiver down your spine. You're completely mesmerised by him, by the way his fingers move so gracefully, by the look of concentration on his face.

As the music swells around you, you feel a sense of calmness washing over you. This is what you've been missing, what you've needed all this time. You lean your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in the music.

"What is this song called?" You ask, your eyes still closed.

"I don't know." He whispers. "I made it up."

"You're so talented, Charles." You say, unable to hide the admiration in your voice.

He turns his head slightly and his lips brush against your forehead. "Thank you."

You open your eyes and look at him, the emotion in his eyes mirroring your own. You can't help but feel as if the world has stopped spinning and that it's only the two of you in the universe, in this moment.

He leans closer, his lips ghosting over yours. "Y/N, can I kiss you?"

You nod, unable to speak, and he closes the distance between you. The world around you fades into nothingness as his lips brush against yours. It's soft at first, tentative as if testing the waters of this new, uncharted territory. The kiss deepens, becoming more passionate, more urgent. His hands move to your waist, pulling you closer, and you respond in kind, your fingers tangling in his hair.

The taste of him is intoxicating, a blend of familiarity and excitement. You can feel the years of friendship and unspoken longing in every touch, every movement. It's as if the floodgates have finally opened, and all the emotions you had both kept hidden come rushing out.

When you finally pull away, both of you are breathless, your foreheads rest against each other’s. The room is silent except for the sound of your rapid breathing and the faint echo of the last note Charles had played.

"That was..." You begin, searching for the right word.

"Yeah." Charles smiles, a blush rising to his cheeks. "That was incredible."

You laugh softly, leaning into him and resting your head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around your waist and holds you close, the warmth of his body soothing you. You sit there in silence for a while, enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.

"Hey, are you tired?" he asks.

"No, just relaxed."

"Okay. Well, I have a question for you."

"Ask away."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you love me."

Your eyes fly open, and your heart stops. He is looking at you, his expression serious. You swallow hard and try to think of an answer. But your brain doesn't cooperate, and you can't speak.

"W-what are you talking about?" You stutter.

"I'm talking about the fact that you are in love with me."

"No, I'm not. Why would you think that?"

"Because it's obvious."

"Oh."

"You look shocked whenever I flirt with you and after that so happy. It's the same look I have when I'm thinking about you." You can't believe what he is saying. Does he really mean it? Or is he just playing with your emotions? "Why didn't you ever tell me? Because of my job?"

"No, it's not that. I just...I didn't want to ruin our friendship. You're the most important person in my life, and I didn't want to lose you."

"Oh, baby. You will never lose me."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He cups your face with his hands and leans in again. Your eyes flutter closed, and his lips touch yours. The kiss is slow and gentle. His lips are soft and taste like mint. You feel a tingle in your stomach, and you can't help but sigh. His tongue darts out and caresses your lips. You open your mouth, and he slips his tongue inside. Your tongues tangle together, and the kiss becomes more passionate. When you finally pull apart again, you are breathing heavily. He smiles and strokes your cheek.

"You are so beautiful, Y/N. You know that, right?"

"Charles..."

"No, it's true. And you deserve to be told how beautiful you are every day."

"Oh, Charles."

He pulls you into his arms and kisses your temple. You lean against his chest and breathe in his scent. It feels so right to be here with him. After all these years, you finally feel like you belong.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks.

"About the fact that I don't wanna go home."

"Who said you have to?"

"What do you mean?"

"Stay with me tonight."

"Really?"

"Yes. Stay the night. I don't want you to leave."

"Okay."

He stands up and takes your hand. You follow him down the hallway and into his bedroom before he sits you down on the bed. He sits down next to you and strokes your cheek. You look into his eyes and see the same desire that you feel. You lean in and kiss him. His lips are warm and soft, and his tongue feels amazing. Your body is tingling, and you can't get enough. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. He pulls you closer and kisses you passionately. Your bodies are pressed together, and you can feel his arousal. You moan and rub your body against his. He breaks the kiss and looks at you. His eyes are dark with lust, and his pupils are dilated.

"Mhm, Y/N. You're driving me crazy." He pulls you into his lap and kisses you again. His hands roam your body, and you arch your back. He slips his hand under your shirt and cups your breast. You gasp and close your eyes. He squeezes your breast and rolls your nipple between his fingers.

"Oh God." You moan.

"Do you like that?"

"Yes. It feels so good."

He keeps massaging your breasts while kissing your neck. You grind your hips against him, and he groans. You can feel his erection, and it turns you on even more. He moves his hand to your other breast and starts massaging it.

He pushes you onto the bed and gets on top of you. His hands move under your shirt, and he pulls it off. You arch your back and expose your breasts. He licks his lips and leans down to kiss your nipples. He sucks on one and flicks his tongue over the other. You moan and dig your nails into his back.

He moves his hand down to your pants and starts undoing the button. He pulls them down, along with your panties, and tosses them aside. He looks at your naked body and smiles.

"You're so beautiful."

He leans down and kisses you. His tongue darts out, and he runs it over your lips. You part your lips and let him inside. He explores your mouth and moans.

"Mhm, I want you."

"Then take me." You say.

He pulls his shirt off and throws it aside. He undoes his pants and pushes them down. He kneels between your legs and looks at you. You can see his erection through his boxers. You bite your lip and reach out. You run your hand over his bulge and feel the heat. He groans and closes his eyes.

"Y/N."

"Yes?"

"I want you so bad."

"Then take me."

He quickly pulls his boxers down before he grabs your hips and pushes you further onto the bed. He lies down on top of you and kisses you. His erection rubs against your core, making you gasp.

"God, you're so wet." He moves his hand between your legs and strokes your clit. You moan and buck your hips. He positions his cock at your entrance and pushes in. You gasp and close your eyes. His cock fills you up completely, and you feel complete.

He starts moving slowly, and you cling to him. He kisses you deeply and groans. He moves faster, and you cry out. You wrap your legs around his waist and arch your back.

"Yes, Charles. Right there. Please."

He pounds into you harder, and you feel yourself approaching the edge. You never had sex that felt this right.

"I'm gonna come."

"Come for me, baby."

You scream his name and climax. Your body trembles, and you shudder. He moans and buries his face in your neck. You feel his release, and he collapses on top of you.

"God, Y/N. That was amazing."

"It was."

He rolls off of you and pulls you into his arms. You snuggle against his chest, and he kisses your forehead.

"So, this is where we've been heading since day one, huh?" You chuckle.

"Well, yeah. I just didn't expect it to take twenty years."

"Yeah, me neither."

"And I also thought we'd be more cautious about it." Charles laughs realising he completely forgot to use a condom.

"I don't know, I just didn't care."

"Yeah, me neither."

You kiss his cheek and rest your head on his chest.

"Charles?"

"Hm?"

"Will we be able to make this work? I mean, with our lives and everything?"

"We'll figure it out. I'm not letting you go."

"Good."

You close your eyes and listen to his heartbeat. He is holding you tight, and you can't imagine being anywhere else. You kiss his chest and slowly drift off to sleep in his arms.

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wasteddmoondust · 6 months ago

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car mirror selfies || james potter

pairing: james potter x bestfriend's sister!reader 826 words, reader is sirius' little sister, secret relationship at the start, accidental announcement?????, suggestive joke towards the end. a/n: THIS CAME TO ME WHEN I SAW A TWEET BUT I LOST THE TWEET (also, not proofread pls be nice)

"When do you think we should tell them?"

You're with James. You're right next to him but you're also with him romantically.

It just sort of happened. One of those moments where you're hanging out and he just leans in and you also lean in and suddenly you're kissing. It's been very slow and sweet between the both of you since then.

As much as your now boyfriend would love to scream from the top of the hills about you, there's just one tiny problem.

"You want me, your girlfriend, to tell your best friend, my brother, that we are dating?"

"Well, Remus too-"

"Still! You see my point."

James lets out an exasperated sigh and shrugs. "We'll have to tell him eventually."

You bite the inside of your cheek. "I feel like at this point I rather him find out accidentally."

You should probably watch what you wish for.

It's Saturday afternoon, before your bi-weekly hangouts with your brother and his friends. Sirius had told you and James to meet at his car which was parked in the mall car park while he and Remus ran errands.

Five minutes pass by since the both of you arrive, and the other two are nowhere to be seen. It's not likely for them to be late, but you'd still let it slide.

"I wonder what's taking them so long..." you say. You decide to take out your lip gloss and reapply it, using the car's window as a mirror.

James smiles at you. He loves the way you concentrate and slowly apply it onto your lips and smack them together when you're done. He knows you'd kiss him on the cheek later and he'll keep the gloss stain on for as long as he could.

"Come here, babe," he says, using his arm to wrap around your neck as he pulls you closer to him. He pulls out his phone and aims the camera at the window. He starts to snap a photo.

"Cute," you say, smiling.

The both do a few poses. Smiles, sticking out tongues. You pucker your lips to pose, and James presses a kiss to his cheek and takes a photo of that, and you kiss his cheek back.

Just then, the car window slowly winds down.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Sirius asks, his brows furrowed and mouth agape.

You've never wanted to bury yourself underground so badly in your life until this moment.

The three of you are in silence for what felt like forever. James breaks it first.

"We were... taking selfies?" Wow. James, the love of your life, cannot even save his own life.

Sirius gets straight to the point. "How long has this been going on?" he asks.

You decide to speak this time. "Like... three weeks ago?"

He raises his brows, he looks curious now. "Before or after March 31st?"

"Before."

Sirius gasps, so loud that you and James flinch. He claps his hands, the sound echoing through the underground car park. "Remus owes me so much money!" he exclaims.

What?

"You bet on us?" you almost yell, once you realise what he said.

Sirius laughs. "On New Year's, Remus said he thought you two would get together by the end of the year. I knew better, you'd have it solved by March." He shrugs.

You scoff, "I can't believe this."

"Oh come on, I believed in you! You finally did something!"

James cuts in. "I made the first move," he announces confidently.

Sirius turns to look at him, his face now deadpan. "You're my best mate, James. But if you hurt my sister don't think I won't hunt you down."

James backs up suddenly, losing all said confidence. He mumbles an 'okay'.

You look at your brother. "You're not mad?"

"Why should I be? If anything, I rather have you be with James than some random git." The look on your face doesn't change much. He sighs. "You know what? Fine, I'm happy for both of you and I only want the best for you, blah blah blah. Are you happy now? Get in the car, and hold hands or whatever, I'm fine with it."

You and James look at each other. He smiles at you and shrugs, opening the door for you to enter. He gets in with you and doesn't hesitate to link his arm with yours, intertwining your fingers together. He squeezes your hand, and you know it's for reassurance.

Sirius happily sighs from the driver's seat, watching the two of you from the interior mirror. "Ah, young love," he says, crossing his arms.

"Please shut up, you're just a year older than me," you say. "I still can't believe you bet on us like that."

"Be happy for me! I'm now a whole one grand richer."

"You bet one thousand?!"

"Yes. But honestly? Remus can just repay me with some really good he-"

You kick the back of his seat.

a/n: i know it's not teacher and james but!!!! don't worry babes have this in the mean time, may this be the start of my motivation coming back. thank you guys! <3 likes and reblogs are appreciated

#marauders x reader #marauders imagine #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter imagine #zee writes

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tan1shere · 1 month ago

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Her Favorite - Pt 2

Teacher Billie Eilish x student female reader

A/n: this has taken forever my apologies babes, but I hope it was worth it ? Again there will be links to the outfits on certain words 😁

Summary: you're the teachers pet. Her. Favorite.

Warnings: smut mdni ! Soft dom billie, sub-but slightly bratty/naughty reader ??, you ride billie, jealous billie ? Lil possessive but not in a horrible way.

Masterlist - pt 1 , pt 3

It took a few days plus the weekend to recover from what had happened. Your brain still processing it all. Until you got a random text on Sunday.

'Hey angel, just want to check on you.'

Your heart flutters, having a smile light up on your face. The things she made you feel were insane. But it was the best feeling ever. Despite how wrong that was.

And that was the start of what seemed to be a secret relationship. Naughty right? But you just couldn't resist one another. And you were just so glad that you were over with it all, that year. So it wouldn't be as secretive. It was a Wednesday yet again, and you were making your way over there with Claudia. You hadn't told a soul, not even her. But she wasn't stupid. She knew something was going on. Today's outfit was yum. If you did say so yourself. She had her hair up in a bun, which you found out to be one of your new favorite things. And ofcourse an old favorite, the glasses. God they sent something animalistic through you.

You take a seat, ready to stare at your girlfriend. Wow, that was so incredibly odd to say. Even if you did say it in your head it sounded very strange. You had never referred to one another as 'girlfriends' everything just kinda happened. You were dating, but never once uttered those words. The class was almost over, which you were glad about so when everyone left you could say a quick hi to her. Lips to lips. As you get up your clumsy self had knocked over your books from inside your bag. "Fuck sake." You mumbled, you really needed a new bag. When someone goes to help you. It was a girl, slightly taller than you.

"Thank you." You give her a sweet smile. "That's happened before I noticed." She then says returning the smile. "Yes, this bag is old and ratty. I should probably get a new one when I get the chance." She nods at your statement. "I always see you around, I'm Silvi." She says offering you her hand. "Y/n! Nice to meet you Silvi." You watch as she goes to leave. "I'll see you around." You nod, giving her that sweet smile. Your eyes turn. "What?" You notice her eyes on you. "Nothing, that made you really smiley." You approach her. "Don't even, she just helped me with my books because of this stupid bag-" You hold it up, careful so things don't spill out again.

"Think you need a new one babe." She says going to kiss your cheek, but you grab her by the collar of her dark blue shirt, smashing your lips against her own. Her hands rest on your waist, kissing back with such passion. "I've been wanting to do that all morning." You admit, pulling away and smiling like an idiot. "Oh yeah?" You nod at that, going to sit on the small desk she sits at in the room. But you soon get off as you hear the door open, looking over to see Claudia. "Left my jacket." She looks at the both of you. Landing on you, giving you a suspicious look. Claudia was smart she knew what you two were upto.

But she wanted you to confirm it before anything. And you would in time. She then leaves again, causing you to look at Ms O'Connell. Even tho she insisted you call her Billie you just felt off about it. "You look so good today." She says to you. You blush slightly. "So do you, I love the glasses." She just smirks. "Oh I know."

Friday. It came around quickly but you didn't mind it at all, you use to. But ever since you got with, Billie. You've been enjoying that class way more. All because of her. You happen to be the first person in there today. You smile at her. "Hi baby." She says softly. You give her a giddy smile. Going to sit down. You tried not to make your glances obvious, if anyone found out that wouldn't go good for her and you did not want that happening. So you both had to be careful. But oh man was it tricky. All you wanted to do was pounce at her.

Weeks has past and your secret relationship is growing each day. You were currently over at hers, laying in her bed. Her apartment was nice, it was spacious, comforting. She was having a quick shower, getting ready for the day. Then your brain clicks and you immediately went to go join her. Getting up and heading in there. You strip off your clothes and step into the misty shower. "Hi." You say with a smile. She smiles back at you. "Hi beautiful, glad you could join me." Everytime she spoke to you, you feel your knees buckle. So soft, so sultry in her tone.

Her hands make contact with your face, going to kiss you passionately. Most kisses with her were like that. And you craved them, especially when they heated up. "How are you going with that work I gave you the other day?" She asks, putting some shampoo into her hands. Getting you to turn around so she can massage it into your hair. Your mind eases. "Good." You sigh out, closing your eyes in the process. "Good, I'm glad. You seem to be doing sooo good, baby." Your eyes open, brain shutting off.

It's as if she knew the exact effect she had on you. Your body goes to turn around, but her hand grips your hair, pulling you back so your head was on her shoulder. "Isn't that right my love?" You bite your lip, she was forever teasing you. She knew damn well of it. "Y-yes." You stutter out, still in shock at the grip she had on your strands. Her eyes roam your face features intently. "And." She begins, getting you to face her again. Coming really close. "You're just so good at listening." She finishes, reaching behind you to grip the flesh of your ass firmly.

Hearing the slight smack echo. You wrap your arms around her neck with a slight squeak. She smirks at your reaction, enjoying how easily you'd fold.

Wednesday. Yes you always wear skirts, long, short. But never this short. And guess who's attention that got first. Her eyes linger over your body, your thighs. You just wanted to look extra good for her today. Although it did catch the attention of a person who sat behind you. Billie, was wearing a white t-shirt and a black tie, she had her hair down and she just looked mouth watering. You stare for a moment as she talks about what you'll be learning today.

When you feel a tap on your shoulder, you silently look back at who did it. Silvi. "Hey, you look really good, you wanna maybe go out later." You freeze. "Oh uhm- I'm a bit busy today." You lied, she was nice. But you were literally with- someone ... Who's way older and is literally your teacher. You thought for a moment. Maybe you should, so it doesn't look weird. "The offer still stands if you free up." She finishes. You turn back around, seeing Billies back is facing you. Hopefully she didn't see.

Oh but she did. She saw enough before she turned back around. Why was she jealous. Was she worried you'd realize that this was all a mistake and that you'd want someone your own age. I mean it's not like shes old or anything. She was most definitely overthinking this but she's grown to have a true liking towards you. Maybe even love which is something a little difficult for her. So you really were special.

As the class ended and everyone leaves you go over to her. "Hii!" You say cheerful. She turns to look at you. "Hi babe." You could sense the hostile behavior. "Everything ok?" She looks you up and down. "Well one, that's very short no?" Your brow raises. "What are you my mo-" But she shuts you up by slapping her and on your mouth. Letting herself continue. "Second I saw Silvi talking to you, what'd she want?" You remove her hand. "What's with you today?" Her hand meets her hip. "Fine, she just asked to hangout. Was kinda thinking about it." Her brows furrow. "And why?"

You go to sit on her desk that was in the room. "I dunno, maybe so it doesn't look strange that I'm not with anyone." She sighs, she gets it and she doesn't. She hates the idea. "Still don't get why." You get off going to look at her properly. "You don't seem like yourself, maybe I should go." She immediately reaches out for your hand. "No, wait." She sighs. "I'm sorry, I- the idea doesn't sound good." She softens her look. Making you fold. "I, don't have. To go. I just- I think it would be best." She sighs, again. "Ok well, atleast don't wear that again." She points to your skirt.

"Ms O- Billie. It's just a skirt-" Then you got the sudden urge to mess with her. Maybe she had pissed you off slightly with the other stuff. So you get a wicked idea. "What? Don't like me being on display for everyone?" You give her an innocent look but she saw way past it. "Don't start with me." "Or what, whatcha gunna do." You say, biting your lip. "It won't end good for you." You grab her tie. Causing lust to arise in the both of you. "You're playing with fire." She growls. "You should play with me instead." She was so feral for you, her movements were speedy as she grabs you and picks you up. Heading into that smaller office on from the huge room. She closes and locks the door.

She gets close to you, making you look at her. Her face goes closer to your neck, moving up. "I want to fuck you on my desk." She says against your ear, keeping you from falling. "P-please-" and this woman wasted no time, clearing it instantly and making you lay back. She takes her hands and touches every limb on your body. You shiver, wanting to watch what she was going to do. You sit up a bit to see, watching her hands come down to your skirt. They slither against your thighs. "Even tho it is incredibly short you looked so good in it. So it stays on." Her fingers then grip your underwear pulling them off.

"Yes ma'am." You reply, biting your lip. She chuckles ever so slightly. That fucking chuckle. It made you go nuts. "You always make me feel so good." You breathe, leaning back on the table. "Yeah? Good baby, this is going to be even better." Her hands fiddle with the belt on her pants going to pull them down to reveal the fake dick attached to her. Your eyes widen as you hadn't expected her to be wearing that. It messes at the entrance of your hole, making your head lay flat on the surface behind you. Back arching to feel it more. "Please B-" But she pounces ontop of you before you could finish. "I want you to call me something else during this. Think you can?" You nod with a hum.

"Starts with an M." She says, running her finger along your jaw and your body. You caught on right away. "Mommy." She smirks. "Good girl." The tip slides in slowly as her lips move to your neck. You suck in a moan, something you tended to do. Sure you made noise but for some reason you tried not to. "Come on baby, don't shy away." She says near your ear. Your eyes shut feeling incredibly small under her. "Bi-" But she swiftly grabs your face. "Uh uh." You gulp. "Mommy, please. More. Please." You were a complete wreck. Feeling every sane thought slip away. Going entirely into sub space. And that's when she heard the prettiest noise coming from you.

"That's it baby, good fucking girl." She purrs into your neck, satisfied with what she had been wanting. Her strokes grew more powerful and fuck was it amazing. You were still worried you'd get caught and she knew of this. "Imagine one of your friends walking in. Your face would be so red huh?" You squirm slightly, feeling her cock going deeper, causing another sinful moan to escape you. "Mommy." You whimper. "Hmm, don't like the thought?" She laughs. "I think you do. Enjoying it invading your brain. You want someone to catch this naughty act don't you sweet girl?"

Your pussy clenches tight around her sucking her in. "You're gunna make me cum!" You moan out. "Good, that's the goal baby girl." Your breathing gets uneven, feeling your brain fog over. Her face coming close to yours. "Relax my girl." And you do exactly as told, you always listened to her. "F-fuck." You breathe, calming down a bit and giving into that intense pleasure. Spasming around her as you came hard. She looks down to where the plastic dick disappeared, watching you leak all over the brown table. "You're so perfect to me." She bites her lip. She was truly. Inlove with you.

"P-please.. need more." You go to sit up shakily, grabbing the tie yet again. "W-wanna ride you." You say hastily kissing her lips. Her hands make way into your hair scrunching a bit, causing more moans. "Mmm, ride me baby." She moves to sit on her chair. You coming to hover over her lap, her hands gripping the silicone to line it up for you. "Go on sweetheart. Let it consume you-" "There you go, good girl. Feels good?" You bite your lip as you sink down. Letting out a slight gasp at how deep it was. "Know it does huh." She then ruts up into you, making you grab her shoulders to stay stabilized.

"Mm, mommy." You say near her ear, moving your hips at a slow pace. Her hands move to speed things up, this new angle hitting her clit deliciously. "Come on baby, know you can do better than that." She grabs your face so you look at her. "Wanna make me feel good too?" You nod fast. "Yeah?" She smirks at you. "Move faster my girl. Because the way you're moving." She pauses coming close to your ear, breathing against it. "It's making mommy's clit twitch. All for you." You whimper, such a dirty one too. She smirks again, going to bite your ear. Your hips pick up pace.

"There you go, that's it." She moans into your ear. Making your eyes and thighs shut. "P-please." Her head tilts, knowing exactly why you said that. So her mouth comes to your ear again, making a louder more prominent moan escape her. Your mouth hangs open as you continue to move. "S-so close." Her teeth sink into your lobe again, making your grip on her shoulders tighten. "Me too baby, keep moving the way you are, youre being so incredibly good." You do just as told, like always. Keeping up with the speed. And within seconds your both cumming.

You're immediately exhausted, falling into her as her arms wrap around you. Tiredness taking over. Billie couldn't be more happy about this situation. Your eyes shut, falling asleep soon after in her arms. She's making sure you're asleep before her next words and once you truly are.

"I love you."

#billie eilish #billie elish icons #billie ellish lyrics #billie #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish smut #billie eilish fanfiction #billie eilish x reader smut #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x y/n #Her Favorite

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mallowsweetmiri · 4 months ago

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F.W. ~ Fred and George’s Room

Part 1 • Part 2

Summary: nothing beats a hot summers day hanging out at the burrow… except maybe a cold beer and two goofy gingers.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, alcohol

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Your POV

The summer was hot.

As July settled in, so did a resting heat. Even the walk to the lake seemed unbearable this week, so you settled in the house under Molly’s cooling charms and the occasional summer breeze. The younger of the lot were hunkered in the living room, playing chess in a competitive tournament. It was quite boring for those who got knocked out in the first round, so Fred and George dragged you up the winding staircase and into their bedroom. You were a little nervous going up to Fred’s room after everything that’s happened this summer, but you followed behind them anyway. You were never one to run away because of fear. The twins grinned at you as they pushed through the door. It had been only a year since you’d been in here, but the twins had managed to plaster most of their walls in posters. Their shelves were lined with all sorts of trinkets, and Fred’s cassette tape collection had doubled in size.

“Wow, where did you managed to get all of these?” You asked, plopping down on Fred’s mattress and touching the stack of tapes on his shelf. Fred came over and grabbed Nevermind off his shelf along with his Walkman.

“Been going to the muggle town a few miles away,” Fred popped the tape in with a grin. “Check this out.” He nodded to George who cast a nonverbal silencing charm on the room. Impressive. Fred muttered sonorus and placed his wand next to the headphones. The room filled with the sounds of Nirvana as Fred and George grinned at each other.

“You guys are geniuses! You have to bring it back to the dorm,” you beamed, jamming along to the rock music. Fred grabbed his guitar from the corner before plopping down beside you.

“Oh trust me, we’ll be bringing plenty back to Hogwarts,” Fred winked, earning a low chuckle from George.

“And don’t worry, Y/N. You’ll be the first to try our new creations,” George grinned evilly in your direction. You raised your brow as the twins began to laugh. You didn’t even want to know what they had in the works. It seemed like every year the twins came up with more ingenious inventions and charms. You looked around the room at the mix of muggle technology that had been enhanced by magic, like Fred’s guitar. You were continuously amazed by their talent, and couldn’t help but watch as Fred began to play Come As You Are. You watched his long fingers move across the fret. He’d gotten a lot better since the last time you heard him play. Of course it was hard to judge his playing technique when all you could focus on were his forearm muscles. You laid back on the bed with a sigh as you listened. You felt a breeze come in through the window as you played with the sheets on the bed. You figured that maybe Charlie’s room wasn’t the best in the house after all.

“You want a beer?” You heard George ask.

“Is it cold?” You sat up on the bed, earning a cheeky smile from the younger twin. He reached under his bed and pulled out a case of Carling.

“Why, of course. I would never offer you anything less,” he teased, pulling out a can and presenting it to you. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the cold can. Cooling charm.

“Thanks,” you said, cracking open the drink and humming in content. George gave one to Fred before cracking open his own and taking a long drink.

“Before you lot showed up here, all Fred did was play on that guitar,” George smacked his lips after his gulp of beer. Fred huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

“I’m actually making progress this year,” Fred stopped playing in favor of a drink, “thanks to all the music you recommended this past year.” He nudged you with a smile and kept playing. You blushed and drank, hoping the alcohol would soothe the constant buzz of embarrassment you felt around Fred these days.

“Well, it’s my job to educate the two of you on all of the wonders muggle London has to offer,” you sighed, leaning back on your hand. “We should totally visit my cousin this summer. Y’know, the one I was telling you about? I could take you out to a real muggle club.” George perked up at this.

“Yeah, we’re totally going,” George decided, raising his beer up to you, “cheers to your hot cousin.” He smirked and downed the rest of the beer, making you scoff.

“George!” You scolded, tossing a pillow his way, “You’ve never even seen my cousin.” You shook your head and downed the rest of you beer, crushing the can and tossing it in the bin.

“Well, I’ve seen you so I’m sure your cousin looks just fine,” George shrugged, reaching to grab more beers. You blushed and stifled a laugh as Fred looked up from his guitar with distaste.

“What?” George protested, “just cause you’re shagging her doesn’t mean I can’t state the obvious. She’s still just Y/N to me.” He tossed the pillow back at you, a laugh escaping your lips. For some reason, hearing George say it out loud made everything a little less awkward, and you were grateful that he didn’t care about you and Fred. Fred looked like he was going to reprimand George, but when he saw your blushing giggles his face softened into a smile. He put his guitar down as he grabbed the pillow off your lap.

“Alright, shut up mate,” he said, smacking George in the face with the pillow.

“Fred!” You laughed, moving to sit on your shins to watch the action. George stood up and hit Fred right back with his own pillow. They kept at it as Nirvana blared through the speakers. You sipped you beer through laughs before a pillow came dangerously close to your face. “Hey! Guys, watch the beer,” you pouted, holding your beer away from the twins.

“Oh, that’s my bad,” George said, reaching for your beer and placing it on the shelf before promptly smacking you with the pillow. Fred barked out a laugh as he attacked George.

“You’re not supposed to hit a lady!”

By now you had joined in on the fight, the three of you running around with feathers flying throughout the room. Your laughter echoed through Fred’s ears as he protected you from George’s attacks. He guessed it had always been like this, George teasing the two of you even before anything had happened. He’d called Fred out on his crush ages ago, even before Fred knew what it was.

February 1994

Merlin that dress is something else, Fred thought to himself as he watched you talk to Oliver Wood, captain of the Quidditch team. Gryffindor had just won a vital match against Ravenclaw, and Oliver was especially happy as it gave the team a chance at the cup. Everyone had been congratulating you tonight. Your flying was marginally better than most Hogwarts quidditch players, and a lot of people were speculating you would go pro after school. Fred knew you didn’t want to do that, but he let your fans whisper in awe about you. I mean, you were pretty amazing. Fred had never seen anyone play the way you did, not to mention you were one of the best witches in your year. Oliver sure seemed impressed with you.

“Oi, George. D’you reckon Wood’s getting a little too close to Y/N?” Fred nudged his twin and nodded his head towards you. George squinted at Wood before barking out a laugh.

“Yeah, I guess. Maybe Y/N will finally get a proper boyfriend,” George nudged his brother back with his elbows, wiggling his brows comedically. Fred cringed, throwing back the rest of his drink.

“I suppose…” Fred trailed off, letting his gaze fall to the table as he pour himself another glass of fire whiskey. As soon as that was done his eyes snapped back up to you in that dark dress, with Oliver’s face painfully close to yours. “But with Oliver?! We’d be bad friends to let her suffer like that,” Fred continued on, staring at Wood with disdain. George clicked his tongue, causing Fred to snap out of his gaze.

“Freddie, it sounds like you just want her for yourself,” George said with a teasing half grin. Fred’s face of disdain turned to one of horror as he set his drink down and waved his hands in defense.

“No, no, no. Not like that. C’mon George, it’s Y/N,” Fred scoffed, “I just mean that Wood is the reigning Quidditch dictator on top of being an absolute slag.” George pursed his lips and nodded in agreement with a shrug.

“True enough. Well, should we save her from her torture?” George asked with a grin. Fred’s face changed to match.

“Cheers,” Fred grinned, flicking his wand and effectively shutting Oliver up with a lip lock jinx. They watched as you stifled a laugh before excusing yourself, leaving Oliver to struggle with reversing the jinx. You began to make your way towards the twins at the corner of the party.

“Took you guys long enough. I was waiting to be saved from that interrogation,” you chuckled, grabbing Fred’s drink out of his hand. “Can I have this?” Fred hummed with a nod, prompting you to throw back the drink in a gulp. George watched with amusement.

“You wanna go dance with Angelina?” George asked, shimmying his shoulders with an infectious smile. You giggled, hiccuping from the drinks.

“Hell yeah. Fred, can you make us drinks?” You turned to Fred with a dramatic pout and pleading eyes. He rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah. Run along, quidditch star. I’ll bring you your drinks,” Fred chuckled, watching as you said a thank you before running off towards Angelina in that short dress.

“You’re so down bad,” George laughed, shoving Fred before running off towards the girls. Fred shook his head as he made the drinks. What was George on about?

Present Day

Now, while Fred watched you jump and squeal as George chased you down with a pillow, he realized exactly what George was on about. You’d always been his best friend, and you’d always made him laugh in a way nobody else but George could. It also didn’t help that you were absolutely gorgeous. Somewhere along the line Fred had fallen completely in love with you, and now he was fighting for you, his pillow reigning down on George in all its blazing glory. You joined by his side to pelt George with attacks.

“Hey! This is totally not fair. Since when is this two against one?” George whined in between attacks. You just kept chuckling and destroying him with hits. You seemed to be enjoying your newfound advantage.

“I feel no pity for you, you took away my beer!” You laughed in your evil little laugh, taking another hit on his back.

“I call a truce!” George called, dropping his pillow and putting his hands up. You stopped your attack and stood there panting, waiting for any movement. “Let me just get your beer and we can put this behind us,” George reasoned, slowly moving towards the shelf with his hands up. Fred chuckled and dropped his pillow, moving to chug what was left of his can. Merlin, pillow fights sure took the wind out of you. George dropped to his knee and presented you with your half drunken can of Carling, “M’lady.”

“I suppose this will do,” you said, taking the can and bopping George on the top of his head. You fell back onto Fred’s bed with a laugh as you behind to chug your beer in deep gulps, attempting to cool yourself down. Fred sat down next to you, his hand resting on the bed behind your back.

“You guys reckon we should go to the treehouse tonight and play some more exploding snap and shots?” Fred asked, nodding up at George. The twins grinned at each other mischievously.

“Why yes, Freddie, I think that’s a fantastic idea,” George said pleasantly before falling back onto his own bed. The three of you raised you beers to the summer. This was going to be the best one yet.

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Authors note:

Hope you guys enjoyed part 3 of my lil summertime Fred x reader series! I know this part is a bit shorter and mostly fluff, but I promise the next one’s going to be spicier hehe. But man, I love writing this series so much and appreciate any comments from my beloved readers xoxo

#fred weasley oneshot #fred x reader #george weasly x reader #george weasley #fred weasley headcanons #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred weasley fluff #mallowsweetmiri

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asapeveryday · 7 months ago

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Fuck The Freshmen (1/2)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Media girl!reader

Warnings: swearing, sexual references, paige is slightly ooc

Summary: Paige seems to be paying a lot of attention to this years freshman, but what you don’t realize is she pays attention to you too.

A/n: not sure if I should do a second part to this or leave it as is..also I got a couple requests for media girl shit so I hope this is good!! I’ll prob do more involving a media girl reader in the future

“Girl… stop staring like that.”

“Shut up, I’m not.” You nudge your friend in response, not taking your eyes off of the people in front of you.

You and your best friend had both had an interest in sports throughout childhood, so when the opportunity to become media girls came up at the University of Connecticut, a school with amazing sports teams, you both took the chance.

Since freshmen year you’ve grown a lot with the D1 Women’s Basketball team. What started as an awkward beginning had blossomed into a family-like relationship with most of the girls, and you had learned a lot in the past four years. Taking pictures during games had been the best part.

You’d gotten so good at it, by senior year you were appointed “student manager” of the media team, basically meaning you ran social media’s and were able to be as hands-on as possible.

Another thing nice about being a senior was mentoring. Just like the players on the Huskies, when new additions came to the media team you enjoyed teaching all the freshies your ways. None of them were as close as you were with the girls, for the most part.

“Wow, this one actually goes hard.” Paige’s voice rings through your ears. She’s leaning into one of the freshmen students, peering at her camera.

“Wait go back to that one. Shit, that’s good. That deserves to go on the instagram.” Paige says, ruffling the girls hair and patting her back.

“Thanks! Means a lot coming from you.” The freshie replies. You watch as the girls face turns pink at Paige’s contact with her. You listen as Paige showers her with endless praises.

“Seriously (Name). Stop gawking at them.” Your friend flicks you.

You shake your head in disapproval. “When I was a freshmen i barely interacted with the team, let alone the seniors.”

Your friend raises her eyebrow. “You sure you’re not just mad that Paige is all over the kid?”

“Super-senior Paige is gross, I’ll say that. But whatever, it’s not a big deal. I was just observing.” You grumble, hating to watch those two interact but unable to tear your eyes away.

“You’re in denial.”

“Pfft, I couldn’t care less.”

Paige’s eyes turn to meet yours, and you quickly look away. You can feel her smirk radiating, even as you turn to leave the gym.

“I’m gonna go get a snack.” You mutter. Your friend just nods.

As you walk to the vending machine outside of the gym, you feel your stomach twist at the thought of the scene earlier. You wish you didn’t care, but you’re all too familiar with the feeling of jealousy.

You pick out your favourite from the machine, but as you’re about to pay you hear a familiar voice.

“Lemme get that for you.”

Paige is behind you, and she pays for your snack before you can object.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You say.

“I wanted to though.” She shrugs in response. Paige looked good as always in her Huskies tracksuit, hair braided and tied back in her usual ponytail. Eyes blue and constantly searching your face for a clue to what you’re thinking. Sometimes even observing your body. “Didn’t take many pictures today, did you?” She asks.

“I don’t take pictures of random practices.” You roll your eyes, she’s supposed to know this but obviously doesn’t.

“Me and the others were brainstorming, and the freshmen got to test out action shots with the cameras.”

“You’ve got some good talent on your team with those freshmen, huh?” She smiles. You almost want to punch her. Paige is taunting you.

You decide to stay unbothered, even though your body is feeling hot with either anger or arousal. Usually it was both with her.

“Yep.”

She raises an eyebrow. “The teams gonna be in good hands when you graduate.” Paige smirks again, an awful know-it-all smirk.

“I want to get to know the freshmen better, since I’m staying another year I feel like I should be closer with them.”

“And how do you plan on doing that, Bueckers? You gonna fuck your way through the whole media team?” You quip. So much for staying unbothered..

She’s startled for a moment, but recollects herself by saying “I would if I could. You wanna go first or last?”

“Eat a dick.” You snap

“Kiss my ass.” She replies.

“I’d rather die.”

Paige scoffs.“You know you’ve thought of it.”

“You’re so fucking cocky.”

“And you can’t admit that you want me.”

You truly seethe at that.

“God, you think everyone wants you. Get a grip.”

“Well I don’t care about ‘everyone’ I’m just tryna get you.” She groans, as if it’s common knowledge.

“If you think I’m the type of girl who’s just gonna let you hit and then carry on with my life then you’re more stupid then I thought.”

“Ion’ know where you got this little idea that I just hoe around, but it needs to stop.” She finally says, no longer joking. She’s basically cornered you against the vending machine at this point. There’s nowhere to go, and if you weren’t so worked up you would’ve felt frozen by her gaze.

“Have you heard the way you talk to me, Bueckers? You don’t talk to anyone else like that.” You cross your arms.

Paige rubs her face, embarrassed. “Because you freak me the fuck out. I don’t know how to talk to you, and you’re just so cute when you’re mad. I can’t help it.”

You say nothing.

“I fucking hate seeing you talk to the others like you’re best friends. I hate the fact that you never talk to me. I don’t know why I fuck it up when you do, you’re just different.”

“Different?”

“Yeah. You’re something else.”

The two of you just stare at each other now. There had always been an untouched tension between you and Paige. The others dismissed it as banter, but you were never quite sure.

“Just don’t lie and say you don’t think about me.” Paige finally says. “I know you think about me. I see the effect I have on you, ma.”

She cups your face with her hand, letting her finger graze over your lip. The two of you stare at each other for what feels like a lifetime before she whispers. “Can we go?”

“And the freshmen?” You cock your head.

Paige gives you a fierce look. “Fuck the freshmen.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #paige bueckers

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bigglywiggly · 3 months ago

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The day had finally come, you were finally going to meet the girl of your dreams, in person! Her name was Honey, she was a beauty streamer you had been watching for ages. Try-on hauls, pool streams, workout videos, all of it, you'd been here number 1 fan since day 1, donating thousands of dollars over the years to fund her lavish lifestyle, sending skimpy clothes and outfits for her to try on during her streams. To say you were smitten was an understatement. You would've done anything for even a minute with her, and luckily, that day had finally come.

One day, as you're tuning in to her stream, she posts a link on her page for "boyfriend applications." She wants to let her fans submit credentials and headshots for a chance to get more intimate with her, in a more personal way. You were astounded by this and instantly clicked the link and submitted an application. Seemed like pretty basic questions: height, weight, income, a headshot, basic things to understand the attractiveness and practicality of a person she deemed dateable. After filling it out to the best of your ability, you sent it in, a flutter and a hope in your chest. After, you tuned into the rest of the stream for the night.

The next week didn't go by quickly. Every day, you would sign in, check your inbox, emails, in hopes to see a response. As the end of the week neared, you lost all hope until you heard that melodious ding on your phone. At the top of your mailbox, you saw a new, unread email from who else, but Honey.

"Wow, you're super cute! I'd love to get to know you better, we should totally meet up!"

You almost dropped your phone, the air left your lungs and you were astounded, you punched and kicked yourself to make sure you weren't dreaming.

Nope. This was real. This was happening.

After that, time flew by to this very day. You had hopped aboard a plane, flew across the country, took an Uber to her house and were now standing on her doorstep. The reality of it all was finally hitting you. What if this was a scam? You'd heard about these fake streamers that lure unsuspecting fans out to these abandoned homes and robbed them, leaving them with nothing. This surely wasn't one of those times, right? Maybe you should text someone to let them know where you were? No, there's no way your parents would understand, and your friends would just mock you for being some sort of pathetic weirdo. You'd gotten this far, you were gonna see it through.

You walked up to the door, with a pit in your stomach, and shaking, reached up to press the doorbell.

*RING*

Silence. You sat there for a few seconds, but nobody showed. Was this all fake? You went to ring again, out of hope, when you heard footsteps from behind the door. Fairly heavy footsteps. You could almost feel it, and...were the sidelights shaking? Must've been your imagination. 3 more thuds and you heard the lock click. Then another lock. 3 locks? That seemed odd, but who knows, she's pretty famous, can't have enough security right? The door swung open, and the first thing you saw made your jaw drop.

"Hey cutie~!"

You looked up and there she was. As stunning as the day you first tuned into her stream. Face first with the most incredible curves you'd ever seen, if you weren't so entranced with her body, you may have also picked up on the sheer height of her. You weren't short by any means, you stood at a comfortable 5'11, but this woman was something else. As she filled the door frame, you were face to face with a trench of cleavage that could strangle an elephant.

"Nice to meet ya, I'm Honey! I see you've met the rest of me already! *Giggle*

You blushed, quickly snapping your head up to meet her gaze. As you locked eyes with her, it was like the whole world vanished. Pale, blue swimming pools stared straight into your soul, piercing through you.

"Umm..sorry. Yeah, hi, ma'am, I'm-"

"Oh sweetie, I know who you are! And what's with the ma'am? It's Honey!"

She playfully pushed your shoulder, slightly for her, but you felt there was some gusto as it almost made you step back.

"Well come on in! No use standing outside gabbin!"

She stepped to the side and gestured you in, you carefully stepped into the house, walking light footed as if you needed to be delicate or careful, like what you were doing was lascivious.

"Take your shoes off, make yourself comfortable!"

She spoke behind you, closing the door and doing up the 3 locks.

"I don't often get visitors here, so apologies if the place is a bit messy!"

As you walked into the house, something already felt odd. Like there was a chill in here of sorts, but you figured it was just from standing with the door open so long. You heard her thuds from behind and she walked past you, beckoning you to follow her into the main area. Following her, you started to take in your surroundings. Pictures on the wall of just Honey, all above your head though, if she lives alone it makes sense though, but to only have pictures of yourself up seemed a bit odd, no?

Stepping into the main area, you encountered another odd feeling as you took it all in. The furniture was surprisingly tall, taller than you'd seen. The couch looked like it came up to your waist. Stools at the kitchen counter were almost shoulder height to you. Had she custom ordered all this furniture? Some of it almost seemed even too tall for her?

"I see you noticed the furniture, don't worry, I'm still growing into it myself!"

Growing into it? What was that supposed to mean? Maybe just a figure of speech? You pondered this as you saw her walk over to the couch and plop down. She shot you a glance and patted the cushion next to her.

"Come sit! We should get to know each other better, this is our first time after all."

You awkwardly smiled back at her as you walked over to the couch. As you got closer to the furniture, your observations weren't unfounded, this couch was truly massive. Her sitting on it made it look like a normal sized piece of upholstery, but next to you, it made you feel like a kid again.

"Sorry, couch is a little high, I gotcha though!"

"What do you-?"

No sooner did the words come out as she put two hands under your arms and lifted you up, with ease, and plopped you down on the cushion beside her.

"Wow, you feel a lot lighter than you listed on your application! Granted, maybe this growing girl just doesn't know her own strength yet!"

Growing girl? Twice now she's referenced growing and still it made no sense. This girl was already massive and clearly approaching 30, how in the world was she growing?

"So, before we start, I wanted to thank you. I've noticed you in my streams for the last couple years. I see the donations you send and the clothes you ask me to try on. No doubt these gals have caught your eye." She shimmied her shoulders and gestured to the heaving shelf of breast hanging from her torso.

"I appreciate the clothes a lot, it's never easy covering these puppies up, believe you me. I swear, they eat up whatever I cover myself with and then some."

You blushed, she was clearly very comfortable in her skin, I mean hell, she shows herself off online for millions of people to see, why were you surprised. You kept darting glances down to her chest as she spoke. God they were huge, unrealistically so. How could something so massive come into being? Something so warm and inviting yet erotic and arousing all at the same time.

"Ahem. Did you hear anything I just said?"

"What? Sorry, I was jus-"

*Giggle*

"I'm just messing with ya! You clearly are having a little trouble paying attention, almost like somethings...caught your attention?"

She slowly rose from the couch and crawled towards you. Her heaving chest swinging from even the slightest motion as she closed the distance between you. The closer she got, the more of your vision was obscured by that inviting trench in front of you. God what you wouldn't have given to dive right in there.

"Ya know...these girls really have a mind of their own sometimes...they get hungry, and when that happens, there isn't much I can do to calm em down. They just keep growing, year after year, bigger and bigger as time passes."

Inches from your face now, you can smell the sweat from her skin as her cleavage floods your vision. Swinging, back and forth, pendulously in your face, they're all you can see.

"Would you like to...see them get even bigger?"

Oh god. You're on the brink, you feel your faculties leaving you, almost as if you're regressing to a more animalistic state. You need to touch them, feel them, taste them, you need to be between them now. In an instant you throw up your hands on either side and dive face first into that canyon.

*Giggle* "You're not one to mince words, are ya? Just going headfirst, well don't let me stop ya, explore to your heart's content."

You mash your face in between them, pressing down on either side, burying your face more and more. The more you explore these mighty breasts of hers, the more you seem to lose yourself, the less the world around you seems to matter. Squeezing, smushing, licking, this has become your world now.

"There's a good boy, you really know how to make a girl feel good..."

Her voice invades your mind and almost snaps you out of your trance, you start to notice little changes. When were you on her lap? Was she always caressing your back? Wow, these breasts truly are enormous, it's incredible how your hands just...sink into them like pudding. It's almost like...the longer you caress and squeeze, the bigger they get...

As these thoughts flood in, you notice that you're struggling to breathe a little. You haven't come up for air in a while. You try to pry the breasts back a little bit to let yourself some air but...they won't budge? In fact, they feel so heavy, you're hardly even squishing into them anymore. You place your hands on the front of her breasts and start pulling back, trying to pry your head free, until you finally released yourself with an audible *POP* and tumble backwards.

The world all slowly comes back into view, your surroundings start to become more clear, but something's off now. You start to pull yourself up to stand, but feel the couch beneath your feet? Your senses start to come back rapidly as you see you're standing on the couch, but the back of the couch is towering over you. You gulp, shocked and start to panic.

"What the hell is going on?!"

"Shhh, sweetie, relax."

You hear her low, sultry voice as you look back on her and almost fall back by what you see. There she is, on the far side of the couch, vastly looming over you. From your vantage point, she must be at least 35ft tall.

"What's going on?! What did you do to me?!"

"Aww, baby, can't you tell yet?"

She reaches out to you, you quiver as you see her gigantic hand approaching you, each finger bigger than a summer sausage. You try to push her hand away, but to no avail, she's far, far stronger than you. She wraps her fingers around your torso, lifts you up and carries you over to her face.

"Sweet pee, I wish you could see how cute you are right now. You're like a little bitty toy. You've done so much for me already, I wanted to thank you. You've really made an excellent donation."

"Donation?? What do you mean? Why am I so small? Change me back!!"

"Oh hon, I wish I could but your size is going to somewhere much greater. Just watch."

You see her bite her lip as the changes slowly take effect. You hear a subtle groaning as you witness her transform before your very eyes. You first notice the fingers holding you in place start to thicken, covering more and more of your torso. Then you see her thighs slowly plumpen, growing thicker and lusher. Then you notice the biggest part: her chest. Each breast begins to balloon, almost as if inflating, growing outwards and upwards, you can hear her bra beginning to creak and snap under her newfound weight. Her tank top straps strain and spaghetti before snapping and falling limply down her torso.

By the time it's all done, you see her take a deep breath as the tatters of her old outfit start to slip away.

"Wow, that was the best one yet! I just knew you'd be my biggest supporter. Apologies for these old rags though" as she gestures to her clothes, "allow me to slip into something more...fitting."

In a flash, you see the clothes on her body begin to morph, a black tank slowly forms from her old rags and lines up to hoist up her immensely enhanced bust. The straps, incredibly thin, squish down into her soft, pliable flesh.

"There, that looks better on me, dontcha think?"

"What the hell is going on?? How are you doing this? Why are you doing this?!"

She lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Hon, how do you think I got like this in the first place? How do you think I got this incredible body that lead to all these followers and all this fame? Donations of course! The sweet, perverted masses like yourself that so kindly add to, well, these masses!" She says as she honks her left breast, it's girth pouring out between her fingers.

"But, why? You don't even know me! I loved you and your content, I was happy to make those donations if they made you happy!"

"Hon, you and I both know why you made donations to begin with. You haven't been able to look at anything else since you got here, that's why you came here in the first place. You don't care about me as a person, you care about this body. Well, now you've made a contribution to the maintaining and improving of this body! You're almost there!"

You feel a sinking feeling in your chest as you swallow deeply.

"Almost?"

She flashes you a devious grin.

"Of course, hon." She speaks in a deep, sultry tone. "There's still so much of you left."

Your eyes open wide as you start kicking and flailing in her grasp, doing anything you can to get away from this monster, but to no avail.

She lets out a low, echoing chuckle, "You'll have to try harder than that, hon! I can hardly feel your weight, let alone your struggles! And as much as I LOVE watching your little flailings, Mama's got a stream to do tonight, so."

And with that, she slowly brings you closer to her chest, dangling you above the gully that is her cleavage, and flashes you one last smile.

"Thanks for the donation, hon!"

With that, she stuffs you down between her breasts, deep, deep down, almost as if into the core of some desolate planet. As she reaches the centre, she releases her grip on you and retracts her hand. What little light you see from above vanishes as her hand leaves your prison and the crushing weight of her bust surrounds you. You try to move, try to kick, punch, scream, bite, anything, to no avail. You feel a vibration echo around you, clearly she's laughing at your struggles. The pounding of her heart starts to fill your ears, it's low, resonating rumble almost calming you as you miserably accept your fate. You close your eyes, awaiting the inevitable.

-Hours later-

You slowly awaken, hot and sweaty, a dry scratchy feeling in your throat, no doubt from your screaming. You're not sure where you are though, your eyes are hazy and struggling to adjust to the darkness, but you see a small sliver of a silvery haze far, far, far above you. Moonlight? You reach out for it, only to feel a warm, moist mass beside you. What is this? It almost feels like-

Your heart starts racing. You start to panic and snap your head around to acquaint yourself with your surroundings, until you hear a loud, roaring rumble echo around you. A snore. You find yourself plastered to the side of her breast, deep within her bosom, the sliver of light a small amount of moonlight peaking into her cleavage. You try to yell out, but you're still hoarse. You can hardly move your limbs as you try to scratch her breast. You feel a sudden movement as you think you've gotten her attention. Your hopes are instantly crushed as the light vanishes and you start to feel the weight of her other tit come crushing down on you. Your incredibly mild annoyance only caused her to roll over in her sleep, crushing you further down as the goddess around you rests. All that's left to hear is the subtle beat of her heart all around you.

You close your eyes and let out a single tear as you accept your fate, the irony of the situation finally settling in.

You always wanted to contribute to those beautiful breasts, and now, you finally have.

#honeyybee.bby #giantess #breast expansion #absorption

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ghostbeam · 3 months ago

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Oblivi_n.exe | Dabi/Touya Todoroki

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler.

As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week.

Notes: okay wow hiiiii it’s been a long time since I’ve posted an actual fic (nearing almost a year now😬) this is something I’ve been working on for a bit. I have mech brain rot curtesy of @streimiv and @hawnks (both of whom this is dedicated to bc there’s no way I could have written this without yapping to them abt it and also mint helped me come up w the acronym for HERO’s) and we’ve all got our own mech fics in the works atm but anywayssssss this is kind of my baby atm but I hope it makes sense it’s very inspired first and foremost by pacific rim and then also NGE (mostly through consumption of YouTube vids bc I haven’t actually watched it pls don’t hate me) it’s a whole mess of things and Dabi is kind of a bitch and reader is slowly coming into herself and at the end of the day they both wanna be metal fused to one another forever (no matter how hard he denies it) also I’m not a huge computer person idk if this title makes sense so don’t make fun of me pls ok anyways I hope u like it!!!!

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, pilot!Dabi x handler!reader, there’s no explicit sexual content in this part, not even a kiss sorry guys, mentions of robot gore (exposed wires, insides described as guts), brief descriptions of being trapped inside a small space, descriptions of burning while inside said space, mention of surgery to fashion a metal jaw onto someone, mentions of child abuse (nothing graphic just allusions to the todoroki family and touya’s past), angst, many run on sentences, a small cliff hanger

Words: 7.9k

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 (coming soon)

You are nothing without your machine.

It’s the first rule, the first thing beaten into his brain by his father. You carry the burden of the mech alone, or you’re weak. You don’t exist.

U.A. raises the best and brightest pilots, navigators, mechanics, and handlers, each one carefully trained to ensure the most important outcome: winning. It should be protection. It should be defense. But if Touya has learned anything at all, it’s that winning means glory. It means worship. It means HERO’s (Human Engineered Robotic Objects) are saints, and pilots are gods.

Touya used to be one of those best and brightest before his accident.

First son to Enji Todoroki, Touya was supposed to be the golden child, the first Todoroki to pilot without a handler. He was supposed to carry the burden alone, something his father couldn’t do, something only one man has ever actually been capable of.

But Touya is born weak, bad bones, a brain unable to handle all that the mech needs to unload onto it. One too many accidents results in him being expelled from the pilot program, his HERO discarded and collecting dust in its pod, and Touya is promptly transferred to mechanics.

It should have been a smooth transition. If one kid can’t handle it, the next will. Because they have to.

He doesn’t take the news well. It’s a fit of tears, a persistent fight, unable to accept the loss of his machine—of his body. Because Touya loves it. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in pure passion, and despite being unable to handle the burden, there’s no denying that he’s good. He’s almost perfect.

But almost is not enough for Enji Todoroki, and no matter how hard Touya tries, he’s made up his mind.

After months of mechanics, Touya makes a decision. When the next fleet of HERO’s is deployed for the next kaiju battle, Touya sneaks in among the chaos, tucked neatly inside the chest of his machine where he belongs. It doesn’t take long for things to go south, for Touya to get caught in the crossfire, losing control of his mech and burning from the inside out.

It should be an excruciating death, stuck inside a machine made for war, fire raining from above as a battle continues on outside without him.

But he survives, because what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in resilience, and his mech is programed with solutions to every situation. He’s stuck inside for months before he’s found.

Tomura Shigaraki rescues him, pries open the chest of his mech and pulls him from inside. His group feeds him, takes him in, fashions a new jaw for him made from the metal of his mech, and allows him the decision to join their cause or go back home.

And since there’s no home to go back to, Touya finds his footing with the league and becomes one of their top pilots. One who vehemently resists any and all handlers.

…

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler.

Following closely behind Tenko, formerly Tomura, he quickly explains to you the in’s and out’s of the pilot/handler relationship, along with a warning about Dabi’s resentment toward the whole idea. You try to keep up, but he talks quickly and uses his hands a lot. Even so, you can tell he’s a natural leader, something he had to grow into after overthrowing the man who raised him. His story is a tragic one, and it resonates with you because Tenko came out the other side stronger. Now, the league is a community with a cause, one you really believe in. Even if you and Dabi aren’t the right fit, you still have a place here.

You follow Tenko into what he calls the garage, a large floor of the abandoned academy that serves as the league’s base, this part of it full of HERO’s and mechanics all focused on the machines in front of them. It’s completely different from how HERO’s were worked on at UA, where you grew up, and even the PLF didn’t have one dedicated floor to this sort of work. You can feel the energy of the room buzzing on your skin, music blasting from old radios and mechanics tossing tools towards one another in a familiar routine. Tomura leads you to Dabi and his HERO, Blue, though you’re instructed not to call it a HERO around him. With goggles over his eyes and gloved hands, he brings two wires from Blue’s ankle together, sighing at the way they spark each time they connect.

“Dabi.” Tomura calls over the music coming from the radio hanging off of Dabi’s waist. He drops the wires and his gaze flickers toward the two of you. Pushing his goggles up to his forehead, he gives you a once over. His eyes are the brightest you’ve ever seen—kaiju blood blue—and burn scars litter his body. He’s striking in a way you’ve never seen, almost too beautiful to be human. Giving Dabi your name, Tomura explains that you’re taking over as his handler, seeing as he couldn’t keep the last one for more than a couple of days. “She’s your last handler. If you can’t keep this one, then go ahead and fry your brain. See if I care.”

“You say that every time.” Dabi calls from around sucker as Tomura walks away, leaving you alone with your new pilot.

You just your hand out in a greeting, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

Eyeing your hand, Dabi shakes his head and turns his back to you, picking the two wires back up and connecting them again, despite the same spark from before igniting between the two. He looks back up at Blue, touching his fingers to the slim lines starting at the back of her ankle and running all the way up her leg. You peak over his shoulder at the wiring, noticing that he’s connecting two of the wrong ones.

“It’s the wrong wire.” You tell him, and he spins around to look at you, tearing his goggles from his face as he scoffs.

“Here we go.” He sighs with a roll of his eyes, pulling the candy from his lips and tossing it onto the tool cart without a care. “Handler know-it-all bullshit. This is my mech.”

You push passed him and grab the similarly colored wire from beside a red wire and connect it with the one in Dabi’s right hand. Blue lights up cyan through the thin lines that run along each of its limbs and torso, connecting with the two cameras within its head, which seem to blink before the light reaches them.

In an instant, you’re being pushed up against the hard metal, a strong arm over your chest—pinning you up against the HERO. Dabi, now having discarded his goggles, looks at you full of white, hot rage.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” He growls. You’re suddenly aware of the close proximity, eyes flickering between the snarl across his lips and his angry gaze. For a beat, you both freeze, the air suddenly charged like you’re waiting for one another to strike. Snapping yourself out of his hypnotic stare, you push against his chest, forcing him to let you go.

“If I’m going to be you’re handler, you’re going to have to trust me with her.” You remind him. He lets out a harsh laugh, like he can’t believe you would suggest such a ridiculous idea.

“I don’t trust anything but this machine.” He speaks, turning away from you to seal up the machine’s exposed wires. It’s a challenge you’re willing to accept.

“Well, I’m here to change that.” You tell him, before turning on your heel to leave him alone.

He thinks he’ll give you a week.

…

One of the worst parts of being assigned a handler, Touya thinks, is the way that pilot/handler living quarters are set up. He assumes the academy, before it was abandoned and turned into a base for the league, created this sort of set up so that handlers could keep a close eye on their pilots. The handlers Touya has burned through up until now also assumed the same.

The door that connects both the pilot’s and handler’s dorms doesn’t lock, and all of Touya’s past handlers have taken advantage of this fact. He’s been pulled out of bed far too early, pushed around and commanded and barked at. Most handlers behaved as if pilots belonged to them, which was the sentiment drilled into their brains from being thrown into such a fucked up system at a young age.—unless you were a pilot of status like a Todoroki. While he league dedicates a lot of its time to reversing these ideas, most handlers look at Touya like some kind of challenge, this arrogant pilot begging to be tamed. It never takes long for them to realize how easily he’s able to flip the switch on them. You’ll be no different.

But hours pass and you still haven’t entered. You don’t swing the door open and demand he apologize for his behavior earlier. You don’t try and punish him with training regimes, a command of a set of push ups, a schedule you expect him to follow, an extremely detailed meal plan. The entire evening comes and goes without so much as a sound on the other side of the door so he knows you’re even behind it.

He falls asleep unnerved by this, waking up late into the night in a cold sweat, expecting you to barge in, rip the covers from his body and demand to train together. When he wakes up (peacefully) the next morning, there’s no sign of you. He rises from his bed, drinks orange juice straight from the carton and eats a candy bar for breakfast. He fiddles with the navigation screen from his mech that stopped working a couple of days ago, tools spread out on the counter in front of him. Once he’s got the thing working again, your knock sounds from the unlocked door between the two of you. He thinks this might be it, the commands he expects to fall from your lips at the ready as he swings the door open, but you stand there, nervous, hands twitching as your eyes finally meet his.

Greeted by a shirtless Touya, hair mused from sleep, cargo pants hung low on his hips, dog tags swinging against his chest, his scars on display, unashamed and proud. The sight of him knocks the breath out of you, and you clear your throat in embarrassment, hoping your state of dreaming comes off as nerves rather than lust.

“Dabi. Or do you prefer Touya?” You smile. When he doesn’t answer, you continue. “I wanted to see if you wanted to eat breakfast together in the caf. I think we should start over. Yesterday was—”

You’re promptly cut off, “I already ate breakfast.”

With a harsh slam of the door, he leaves you stunned in your room.

You eat alone.

When you started as a pilot, back when you’d entered UA (a few years about Touya’s accident), you went into it believing you could change the world. The exam had placed you into the position of handler, and you were assigned a pilot who had always seemed a little frightened of you despite your obvious lack of authority. Bringing the fact up to your instructors did nothing. They all assured you that this was the ideal dynamic, that the handler always had the upper hand, but you hated that feeling. You weren’t a team like you expected to be; you were urged to control your pilot. You were there to keep them in line, not to be a pillar of support. The bond was never built on trust, and the soul link was always a looming threat. No matter how many pilots you went through, the link was never held as a gift, but a prison, something you would both be stuck with for the betterment of society, a sacrifice to make.

You’d been expelled from the handler program after guiding your pilot to help save another in the wreckage of your first battle together, resulting in the damage of your pilot’s HERO. Your pilot was okay, but the other couldn’t be saved, and you were blamed for the damage of both mech’s.

When you found the league (or when the league found you), you were working with the PLF, but proved to be a weak handler. Every pilot you were assigned to took advantage of your optimistic outlook on the kind of relationship dynamic that pilots had with their handlers. Despite all that you had been through at UA, and with the rest of the pilots you’d been paired with after, you never gave up the hope that handlers and pilots could behave as a team, or, even better, one entity.

Tenko had taken one look at you and demanded you’d be transferred to the league. There hadn’t been much of a choice in the matter, not that you really cared. You were miserable everywhere else. But when you arrived at the abandoned academy and taken a peak behind the kudzu covered walls where each and every area of the building acted as multiple moving parts in collaboration with one another in order to create one massive system, you realized that this was the future you imagined for yourself—and for the world you lived in.

Tenko saw something in you that day, something you aren’t sure you even see in yourself. And so Dabi was your first task, one that’s proving to be very difficult. But he doesn’t treat you like all the other pilots before had. He doesn’t use you. In fact, it seems like he wants nothing to do with you. And while that’s a problem, it’s still one you can work with.

You’re broken from your thoughts by the sound of a voice through an overhead intercom asking for everyone to meet on the first floor of the academy at their earliest convenience. Judging by the quick movements of those around you, you figure you’d better head downstairs as soon as possible.

The meeting on the first floor makes you very aware of just how small the league really is. While it’s definitely not a tiny organization, it’s still much smaller than both UA and the PLF. With everyone piled up like this in one group, you realize it feels more like a community, and the hum of conversation that surrounds you comforts you in a way you’ve never felt within the walls of any other academy before.

There’s discussion about the upcoming mission, one which may be the league’s most ambitious yet; the plan to hijack a mech and kidnap a pilot may be a little unorthodox compared to the league’s past missions, but the jaded pilot they’re targeting has a high chance of joining the cause. Or that’s what they have assumed. As the bodies move and speak around you, it strikes you how different this meeting is from any other meeting you’ve ever been a part of. Tenko is less a dictator and more a wrangler for the disembodied voices of your peers.

You don’t know much about his story, save for the vague details you’ve heard, but Tenko’s status as a lone handler is something you find yourself curious about. If he’s able to work without a pilot, why can’t you? It’s an idea you keep in your back pocket, one you think you can fall back on if things with Touya don’t work out. But you want them to work out. So badly.

You aren’t sure what it is about him, but he’s reignited that spark inside of you. You know he’d rather you give up, and maybe the you from a couple of months ago would have, but something about him—and this place—won’t let you leave.

As you observe the meeting, you take the time to look around the room, taking in your peers and their attentive faces as they listen to Tenko intently. You turn to your right, your eyes meeting a pair of blue ones, impossible to miss. Dabi holds your stare for what feels like ages, and when your colleagues erupt in a fit of many simultaneous discussions, you tear your eyes from his to observe the commotion. When you glance back in his direction, he’s gone.

You don’t seem him again after that. You train with other handlers, get to know your peers a little better. Everyone else seems to be welcoming, and most offer you sympathy when they find out you’re Touya’s new handler. From what you can gather, he’s had his fair share of them, all of which have quit or left in hysterics due to his harsh nature. When you ask around about where he could be, you’re told that he’s most likely in the garage, a place you assume he’s in more often than not.

You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to the garage. A place so completely different, so against the ideas and beliefs of any other academy you’ve been a part of, the chaos and community within is so foreign to you. You find Touya with Blue, working inside of her chest, where the cockpit is.

“Touya!” You call up to him and watch as he peaks his head over the edge of her metal plating. Annoyance falling across his face, he jumps down from where he stands, landing hard on his feet in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” He questions, his figure so tall and imposing above you. He’s not particularly muscular, not even all that tall compared to Tenko, but he makes you feel small regardless, in more ways than one. Rolling your shoulders back, you stare straight into his eyes, unwilling to back down.

“I figured you wanted your space today.” You explain, as Touya moves around you to get to his rolling cart of tools, forcing you to turn toward him and follow him if you want him to hear you. “I know adjusting to a new handler is rough, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. But I was thinking we could try some of those pilot/handler bonding exercises. It might be good to start training like some of the others do.”

He drops the wrench in his hand onto his cart with a loud thud, turning around toward you with a look of disbelief on his face. “Pilot/handler bonding exercises? They really brainwashed the shit out of you at UA, huh?”

At the mention of your past academy, your eyes widen in surprise. You had no idea he knew about that. Clearing your throat in order to compose yourself, you speak again, “I left UA for a reason. I have no attachment to their methods, but you guys do the same stuff here, so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is that I never asked for a fucking handler in the first place, especially not one as eager as you.” He spits, “Sure, you’re understanding now, all that bullshit about ‘giving me space,’ but the moment you get a lick of power over me, you’ll change. You’re not different.”

“I don’t want power over you. This is an equal exchange. Pilot’s and handlers are meant to be a team—” You try and argue, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“That’s what they told you, right? We’re a team, and as teammates, you make sacrifices. And it doesn’t matter if one of you turns into the other’s braindead dog because that’s your place.” His words hit you hard, the exact thought process you went through when leaving UA, completely disillusioned with their idea of “teamwork.” He’s right, and you know it, but since coming here, you thought that wasn’t how it had to be.

“Look, trust me, I get—” You’re cut off again.

“You went to UA! There’s no trusting you.” He scoffs, “It’s not like you’ll last here, anyway.”

“You are such a hypocrite! You’re from UA!” You retort, throwing your arms up in desperation. “You can hate me all you want. You can resist and resist and fry your brain ‘till there’s nothing left, but I believe in this shit. And you don’t get to tell me that I don’t, or tell me I’ll turn into something I worked so hard to get away from.”

Touya stands there, surprised by your outburst, completely unaware that you were capable of all of that. He doesn’t say anything back, and you roll your eyes. “So fuck you, and, by the way, her angel port is smoking.”

At your words, he turns in a rush, seeing the smoke billowing from Blue’s chest as he climbs his way up her form. Once inside his machine, he extinguishes the port and allows himself to relax. There are two things on his mind in this moment: how you could have possibly known it was the angel port without being inside of Blue’s chest and how, for the first time in a long time, he feels bad for his handler.

But for you, it’s the first time you’ve ever held your own against a pilot before, and that feels good.

…

Something feels weird.

Off, unsettling, strange.

He realizes, much to his dismay, that it’s your absence. Despite only having you around for such a short time, Touya has realized that your lack of presence now feels wrong. He hates it. He hates you.

He can’t find you. You haven’t knocked on his door. You’re not in the caf, not the garage, not the sparring floor, not in your room. And he did check—without knocking.

He’s not even sure how he can feel an absence. You aren’t a regular part of his life, and he never wanted you to be. But he feels all fucked up.

During training, Touya jams Blue’s halo core and she leaks vibrant neon from between her ribs. It takes him half an hour to get her reboot her system and rips one of the cables attached to the back of his suit in the process. He spends the afternoon cleaning HERO fluid off the sparring floor.

During repairs, he shocks himself over and over while trying to fix her core, fingers burning from the sparks each time he arranges the wires inside. The cameras in her eyes won’t work from the reboot, and Blue won’t let him unlock the lens panel to fix it. It’s almost like she’s mad at him too.

He’s a complete mess. It’s your fault. He has no choice but to go looking for you. Again.

He searches every wing of the academy before concluding that you’re in your room. He barges through the joint door, spotting you at the counter in your tiny kitchen. You’re surprised by the intrusion, a frightened gasp falling from your lips as you jump in your seat. You turn toward him, prepared with angry words on your tongue, but Touya speaks first.

“You’re not getting an apology out of me, so don’t expect it.” He begins, moving to stand in front of your swiveling kitchen stool as he looks down at you. “But I’m willing to be civil with you, so we don’t have to do this shit anymore.”

You’re not exactly sure what “this shit” is, but Touya looks a little worse for wear at the moment, so you don’t question it. He places a tray from the caf down in front of you that you hadn’t noticed in his hands upon arrival, says nothing else, and turns to leave the room. After shutting your joint door, you look down at the tray of food, noticing one of his suckers placed onto a vacant compartment of the tray.

You’re greeted the next morning with a knock on your door, Touya dressed in his pilot’s suit on the other side as you swing the door open. “C’mon. You’re gonna watch me train today.”

You watch him turn around to leave, expecting you to follow. You rush to pull on your combat boots and grip your dog tags in your fist as you rush to catch up to him. He doesn’t spare you a glance as you fall into step beside him, taking a look around his dorm before he leads you through the exit door.

“You need to get a feel for my fighting style.” He explains as you walk down the corridor. “I’m not saying I’ll listen to you when it comes down to it, but it’s important for you to know.”

You nod, agreeing that you should definitely observe him inside of his HERO. By understanding his moves, you’ll be able to understand the way he thinks, and you’ll be able to help him in actual combat if needed. He’s already said he won’t listen to you, but it won’t stop you from trying. He stops abruptly, turning to look at you, and you stop with him.

“If we’re gonna do this, it’ll be on my terms. I’m not your dog.” He tells you, seriously. He eye’s you up and down, taking in your expression as you nod at his words. “If anything, you’re mine.”

He begins walking again, leaving you in your spot, irritation filling your chest as you watch him, smug. “Asshole.” You curse under your breath.

“What’d you say?” He barks, turning to look at you abruptly.

“You’re an asshole.” You speak louder. He walks back toward you, making sure to tower over you intimidatingly as he looks down at you in annoyance. His eyes flicker down to the tags around your neck before hooking a finger on the chain and pulling you closer.

“Watch it.” He drops the chain and walks away again.

You follow him to the sparring floor, and he shows you where to go to watch. Stood behind a large window that looks over the sparring area, other members of the base watch the HERO’s engage in combat below. You spot Tenko and he motions for you to stand beside him.

“I knew he’d warm up to you.” He comments. The last of the previous battle finishes and you watch the two enormous machines retreat to the sides of the area, their pilots emerging from their chests with their handlers rushing to the bottom of the mech’s in support.

“He hasn’t. He’s not.” You shake your head. You aren’t sure why you deny it, if it’s some way to keep your expectations low or if there’s some kind of embarrassment aspect to the whole thing. Whatever is happening between you and Touya feels intimate and private, something that the two of you need to figure out for yourselves, not something meant for the eyes of others.

“Hm. Okay.” Tenko shrugs. “Guess not.”

You hadn’t noticed Touya enter his mech at all. You see the swing of one giant mechanic arm, too close to the window you stand behind, and you’ve shifted your full attention to the scene at hand.

The enormity of the room surprises you, despite the fact that you had seen it just moments before. But when you’re truly looking at it, watching these huge machines go at each other, the way the ground shakes, the leaves outside shake, the deep forrest clear in view from the wall that opens out to the greenery (the lack of a wall is likely from the academy’s abandoned state, but it’s a good feature to have on the sparring floor when giant robots are toppled over onto various surfaces).

The way Blue moves is electric, mechanic movements almost feel fluid with the way that Touya pilots her, easily dodging attacks from their opponent and moving around them in the most graceful way a giant machine can. It’s beautiful, unlike any fighting style you’ve ever seen in a HERO before.

“He’s showing off for you.” Tenko observes from beside you. You don’t argue with him, only because you can’t dispute it. This is your first time seeing him in action. It makes your heart beat out of your chest. There’s this ache like you should be inside with him, cables connected to both of you, tucked neatly inside of Blue together.

It doesn’t take him long to get his opponent on their back, the heavy thump against the floor jostling the ant-like figures on the ground below, handlers waiting for their pilots to finish. It goes on like this for a while, his training, using different methods of combat and winning each time. He’s amazing, and you can tell why his reputation is the way it is, second only to Tenko, who you have yet to see in action.

When he finishes his last session, you watch Blue walk to the edge of the room, and Touya emerges from her chest, jumping the long way down her body without any issue. You watch as he looks toward the window you’re behind. He waves at you, an acknowledgment of your presence, and you wave back, though you aren’t sure he can actually see you.

It’s the beginning of everything for the two of you. You think Tenko was right.

He lets you stay with him afterwards while he does maintenance on Blue. He helps you climb up the path to her chest, hauling you over the edge to sit inside with him. He turns around abruptly, holding a hand up before allowing you to walk any further.

“Do not touch anything.” He warns, completely serious, before letting his hand fall and allowing you further into the cockpit. You take in your surroundings, the guts of his machine, analyzing the different control panels and screens that line the interior. You can tell he takes good care of her, and he spends a lot of time in here. It looks lived in, stickers stuck to metal plating and pieces of him all over. He’s made a second home in between the ribs of his mech. You feel a little jealous, though you aren’t sure of what.

The two of you sit against the left side of Blue’s interior, waiting for her updates to finish, the loading screen on each of her monitors display a fire graphic that grows with the increasing percentage on screen. Between you and Touya sits an opened bag of sour gummies, which Touya picks out the lemon flavor and drops the candy in your palm with each new handful he gathers.

“How do you know all this stuff?” He questions around a mouthful of sour cherry, “Like, the real names for things, where stuff goes, how to fix them. That day with the wires…”

“I spent a lot of time around mechanics at UA, and then also at the PLF.” You explain, picking the yellow colored candy from his open palm as you speak. “I couldn’t connect with other handlers. I didn’t like how they thought, or how they viewed the pilot/handler relationship. Mechanics were mostly neutral, and they loved these machines like nothing else. They reminded me of why I joined UA in the first place.”

“Hm.” He nods, thinking about your past. “Well, I guess if you spent so much time around actual professionals…I could maybe use your help sometimes in the garage.”

“Really?” You question excitedly, a spark lighting up your eyes as you swerve your head toward him. He feels something tight in his chest at the sight.

“Yes, but only on the outside. I don’t want you messing with her insides, yet.” He establishes. “And never alone. I have to be there at all times.”

“Of course, yes, oh my god. Touya!” You smile, gripping his shoulder firmly, a gesture of thanks, communication of how much his trust means to you. “I’ll be so careful with her, I promise.”

“Yeah, well, you have no other choice.” He shrugs, throwing another pile of candy in his mouth. “I’ll kill you if anything happens to her.”

You take the threat seriously, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s realized that you’ve wormed your way into his life and he hadn’t even noticed just how entangled you were now.

As the weeks go by, you spend a lot more time together. You work on blue together, and you rest inside of her chest, sometimes allowing yourself to drift off against his shoulder on especially tiring days. He sits beside you in the caf, and while he doesn’t always say much, the feeling of his arm against yours is comforting. You can tell people are starting to notice, and they’re starting to talk. You’re being dubbed someone who’s tamed him, but you know how far from the truth that is.

Despite your differences and the petty arguments that come up when Touya feels like you’re intruding on his independence, you’re growing attached. You wonder if he is, too.

…

Spending time together in the garage becomes the new normal for the two of you. Being in each other’s dorms feels far too intimate, so you always meet in the garage. This way, one of you is always busy doing something with your hands. There’s no room for any strange feelings in the pit of your stomach to seep in.

You sit in the crook of Blue’s neck, watching Touya as he repairs the lenses in her “eyes.” Blue has three pairs of eyes; in her head, her chest, and down near her hips, which all footage is projected onto monitors inside the cockpit so that Touya has a full view of what’s in front of him.

He’s so peaceful while he works, you’ve noticed, almost like he goes somewhere else completely. It’s a part of him you don’t think many people get to see, a piece of him just for you, and you want to be selfish with it.

“Can I ask you something?” You question, leaning your head back against the metal. “But you can’t get mad.”

He looks up at you, still fiddling with a lens, a mocking look on his face. “I’m not making any promises.”

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the possible fallout of the question you’re about to ask, “What do you think about the soul link?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d never do it.”

You nod your head in understanding, “yeah, I get it. It’s weird, right? The idea that someone else would be inside your brain.”

“It’s fucking invasive.” He says.

“You know, at UA it always felt like a threat, you know. Like, it was a way for a handler to control their pilot, not a tool or a bond like it should be.” You begin, thinking back to how you viewed the soul link back then. You didn’t like how the bond was presented as this power that a handler holds over their pilot, a threat to keep their pilot in line. But, you could understand how the link could be used for good. “But since coming here, I can tell it’s not all bad. People trust each other here. I mean, there’s obviously some people who abuse it, but, for the most part, everyone seems to understand what it really means to be a pilot and a handler.”

You’re mostly just thinking out loud, but Touya doesn’t say anything to your ramblings. He continues to work on the lenses, and you can gather that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject anymore. But you can’t let it go, yet. There’s something you’ve been worried about since you met him.

“And what about…your brain? They say when a handler and a pilot don’t complete the soul link, the pilot will eventually fry their brain.” You can’t help it. You think about it all the time, what will happen when he can’t take it anymore. The closer you get to him, the realer it feels. “Are you ever worried about that?”

He looks at you, an expression you can’t quite make out fall across his face as he stares. It’s almost soft, the way he looks at you in this moment. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

The truth is, this is a reality Touya has accepted. He’s not afraid to die, and he never has been. He’ll probably die inside of Blue, and he has no problem with that fact. He doesn’t need to be around for long, just enough to show his dad what he’s capable of.

“C’mon.” You stare. “That’s not fair.”

“Shit. I left some of the screws for this in my dorm.” He curses. He looks where you lounge, tucked into Blue’s shoulder. “Keep an eye on her, okay?”

You watch him jump down, much higher than his usual height at her chest, but he lands anyway. He doesn’t turn to look back at you as he jogs away. You climb up the side of Blue, and look at the lenses in her head. They’re already repaired, and you know Touya used the excuse of missing screw just so he wouldn’t have to talk about the soul link.

But it’s the first time he’s ever left you alone with Blue before.

…

As the mission draws closer, Touya throws himself into training. You’re on the training floor with him most days, standing behind that big glass panel as you watch him spar with his peers. He still doesn’t let you down on the floor with him until he’s full out of Blue and close enough to the edge of the sparring floor to get to you. You’re not allowed in the actual training area, and even though he says he doesn’t want you clinging to him, it’s really because he wants to keep you safe. Seeing your human body near the giant machines that are HERO’s makes him want to grab you and keep you inside of Blue’s chest forever.

You can tell all the training is taking a toll on him. With an excess of headaches and the occasional nosebleed, you continuously get into arguments about him cutting back on training inside of Blue. There are other ways for him to prepare that don’t involve his fragile brain being hooked up to an entity that takes so much. He doesn’t listen.

Later and later into the night, as your fellow pilots and handlers disperse and return to their rooms to sleep, Touya stays inside of Blue, testing her movements and sparring against test dummies and obstacles. Once you and Touya are the only two left on the sparring floor, you speak into the intercom attached to your head.

“Touya, I think you should take a break.” You tell him, “It’s late. Get some rest and then we can pick it back up in the morning.”

There’s a pause, then, “I’m gonna stay for another hour. Get some sleep. I’ll be done soon.”

“No, Touya. You’ve been at it for hours. You barely took a break for dinner. C’mon.”

“You know, you sound awfully like a handler trying to tell their pilot what to do.” He teases, but you can hear the irritation in his voice.

“You are insufferable. I’m worried about you.” You groan.

“I’m fine. Go sleep.” He insists.

“If I find out you aren’t out of here in an hour—” Your line is promptly cut off, leaving behind static in your ear. You sigh and throw your com to the side. You hope he’s telling the truth.

With one last look at Blue, you make your way out of the training floor and find your way back to your dorm.

Touya doesn’t answer the door when you knock the next morning. With a frustrated groan, you leave your dorm and head to the training floor, assuming he woke up early to get some extra hours in. The closer you get the the floor, you notice other members of the base rushing in front of you. Feeling panicked, you pick up the pace, jogging toward the training room to make sure something isn’t wrong. You collide with a body in front of you, nearly falling to the floor as you steady yourself. Toga stands in front of you, her cheeks red and eyes glossy as she explains something your mind can’t catch up to understand. The only thing you recognize is his name, and you’re running toward the training floor in an instant.

You watch as Blue stomps around the area, her arms swinging in all directions, losing her footing as she moves. Knowing you can’t do anything on the floor, you make your way up to the overlook, finding Tenko yelling into your intercom.

“What’s going on? What’s happening?” You ask him, pulling the headset off of his head and placing it on yours instead.

“He’s out of fucking control. He won’t answer. I don’t even think he’s conscious in there.” He tells you, running a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in anxiety. “You’re not linked yet, are you?”

You shake your head, closing your eyes in frustration as you try to think. You know it’s the only way. You have to take some of the burden off of him, make him share it with you. It’s the only way he’ll survive right now. “Do you think you can get into Decay right now and knock him down somehow?”

He hesitates, “I can get inside. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to touch him at all.”

“You have to.” You plead, desperately. “I just need him down for ten seconds, tops. As long as I can get inside of her, I can save him.”

He looks at you like you’re insane, and maybe you are. But you know you can’t live with yourself if you don’t try something. Tenko nods.

“I can do it.” He tells you. You rush passed him, following the stairs down to the training area. You feel Tenk grab your wrist firmly. “You bring him back, okay?”

“I will.” You nod.

He dodges Blue’s movements, weaving between her legs as he finally makes it to Decay. It takes a few moments for him to connect, but he goes straight for Blue. You watch the giant machines fight one another, but it’s clear that Blue’s lack of control hinders much of her ability. She needs Touya just as much as he needs her. It’s tough for Decay to dodge her swinging arms, but Tenko manages to knock her down quickly.

The fall shakes the room, but you waste no time running for Blue. Climbing over the side of her, you manage to touch your thumb to the pad on the outside to open her chest up. She begins to stand up, and you slip down, grabbing onto a bar beneath her ribcage. You let out a frustrated groan as you try to pull yourself up over the edge of the cockpit. Finally making it over, you see Touya sitting there, still connected to his pilot’s chair, eyes glazed over and blood gushing from his nose. You push the button that closes the panel in Blue’s chest, and you’re suddenly alone with him.

Touya’s body is being jerked around by the movement of the mech, and you hang onto the walls of her chest in order to make your way to him. You situate yourself in his lap, taking his head in your hands as you look at him with tears in your eyes.

“You fucking asshole! I told you to take a break.” You sob, resting your head against his as you try and think of what to do next. “Touya, please. Please, baby, I need to you come back. Just fucking come back so I don’t have to do this without your permission, please.”

With no response from him, you wipe your tears, coming to terms with the fact that you have to complete the soul link now, or he’ll die. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Touya. Please forgive me.”

The soul link isn’t exactly an action so much as it is a feeling, an experience. There’s no trigger for it, no way to make it happen. It just begins.

It’s Touya, aged thirteen, wild, chubby-cheeked and happy, in the pilot’s seat of his father’s HERO. It’s his drive, his determination, his anger, his hurt. It’s the day he snuck into battle, the day he couldn’t get out, flesh burning and fusing to the metal walls of his mech, the feeling now deep in your skin. It’s you, aged fifteen, hopeful, alive, shaking hands with your first pilot. It’s your heart, much too big and much too open for your line of work, it’s your passion, your fire, every piece of you that was broken down again and again until there was nothing left. It’s Touya and it’s you, and every single bit of your souls now tied together in one big knot.

There’s nothing but darkness. And then there’s screaming. And then you can hear everything. Every thought running through Touya’s brain right now echoes in your head as you slowly come back to yourself. He can hear the same of yours.

It’s overwhelming at first, to have two sets of thoughts in your head at the same time, but you manage to focus. You can feel an anger inside of you like you’ve never felt. It’s almost like it’s your own. You need to come back. You’ve lost control of Blue.

In an instant, you feel yourself come back to your body, now straddling Touya like before, you feel his arms shoot around you and he tucks his chin over your shoulder to pilot Blue like he’s used to doing. He pays no mind as he presses up against you, but you feel your heart rate increase at the closeness.

He’s so close.

I have to be. You’re in my lap.

Shit. I didn’t think—

Clearly.

I can’t fucking believe you. I told you we weren’t going to do this.

You were dying!

Then you fucking let me!

You’re jostled around in his lap for a moment as he stops Blue from destroying any more of the training floor, and Touya wraps an arm around your waist, holding you steady.

He gains control of her quickly, moving her toward the edge of the room. You tuck your face into his neck, not wanting to distract him and keeping your thoughts at bay so you don’t overwhelm him. He powers Blue down, severing the neural connection between the two of you, and shoves you from his lap and into the pilot’s chair like you’ve burned him. He storms out of the cockpit, climbing out of his machine and leaving you inside. You think about the argument you had within each other’s head, how Touya would have rather died than be linked to you like he is now.

You slump against the seat, comforted by the metal cage you’ve been left inside of.

#dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #tw claustrophobia #just in case it’s like so brief and doesn’t describe much yet but I just wanna be safe #ghost.writes #ghost.fic

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